#Also what did Danny mean in his last letter

[bluerosefox]

GHOSTS WITH HEARTBEATS

When Jason had been going to Gotham Academy, he had (for a good reputation for the media and to help him catch up on his penmanship, remember he had been on the streets and dropped out of school before getting picked up by Bruce for a while) signed up for a penpal project for 'less privileged people' to write to.

(Although Jason was annoyed the penpal project stayed within the states and only selected a middle of nowhere town, he knew the Richie Rich Elites would never subjugate their 'Heirs' to actual kids in need of learning how to read and write)

But Jason didn't mind his penpal.

Danny Fenton was a riot to talk, err write to in all honestly.

From his dry punny humor (and boy can he give even Dick a run for his money in the pun department but hey using some of them actually got Dick to warm up to him a few missions ago) and death jokes so many death jokes, to his nerdy love for space Jason enjoyed writing to Danny.

Even the short stories he would write about a ghost kid protecting a small town from other ghosts was interesting to read. He really liked the different kinds of ghosts there could be. Granted some seemed very OP like that Clockwork dude.

Jason liked writing to Danny, and even after the penpal project was over they had plans to keep sending letters, maybe even exchange numbers soon...

But then he died by the hands of the Joker.

The letters leaving Wayne Manor may had decreased but the letters being sent never did or at least until a few years ago.

Then Jason somehow returned to the land of the living.

Got taken by the LoA, tossed in the green waters and turned into their Pit Raged weapon for a while before leaving them behind and setting out for his revenge against the Joker and to force B's hand.

And becoming a Crime Boss for a while too. Can't forget that.

Point being with all this going on, the old warm memories of exchanging letters with Danny Fenton was pushed into the back of his mind and forgotten about for a while.

It isn't until one afternoon at Wayne Manor that while roughhousing with Dick, who had Jason in a brotherly headlock as they walked down a hall to one of the sitting rooms, that while Jason had slipped out of Dick's hold had stumbled into a hallway desk that had a few things on the top of it, one of the things being a small box that tumbled off when Jason hit it.

The box lid opened and out of it spilled out a good number of letters.

"Shiii-p, dang it Dick!" Jason said when he looked at the mess he accidentally made and stopped himself from swearing, the place might be named Wayne Manor but everyone knew this was Alfie's domain and no swearing was a rule within his halls.

Dick only laughed and teased only in a way a sibling can do "Hey not my fault your as big as a tank Jaybird! We should get you some caution signals if you keep bumping into things!"

Jason flipped him his favorite finger, thankfully Alfred only knew when they swore thus it did not summon him, and bent down to the letters.

His hands froze when he recognized the hand writing and the address it was sent from.

"From: Danny Fent Nightingale

Amity Park, IL"

To: Jason Todd-Wayne

Gotham City, NJ.

Wayne Manor"

And when Jason opened the letter. He really wasn't expecting what was written inside.

"Jason.

I'm finally leaving Amity Park. I can't be there anymore, not after everything. I'm too tired, and emotionally hurt. Everything is just to much. And I can't keep doing this to myself. My parents still can’t understand there is nothing ‘wrong’ with me or why I refuse to let them take care of Ellie, I refuse to let her live the way Jazz and I did, Jazz has to much on her plate already with her own life and college but she’s been hounding me to reach out to mom and dad, Sam refuses to listen to me when I tell her I want to be more than ‘Phantom’ in Amity Park, and Tucker is so busy trying to get into a good college and job we barely have time to talk nowadays. And don’t get me started on Vlad, that fruitloop’s been breathing down my neck since Ellie’s deaging.

Despite how much of a hellhole you like to call it, I think Gotham might be my, no mine and Ellie’s best bet of living some kind of life, especially now since the whole deaging she had to go through, she needs an ectoplasm rich city as well and since she has no actual papers because she was my clone and I remember you saying Gotham has people who can create new identities and-

I’m rambling again, to letter you again. I really need to stop it.

I can’t keep pretending you’re going to read these.

I know you’ll never read these. You’re gone. I can’t even find you in the Realms no matter where I look.

I’m sorry. For using you as, well, a way to vent my life for last couple of years. I shouldn’t had done it but it helped me.

Believing my friend was still alive and getting my letters I mean.

Again I’m sorry.

This will be my last letter to your ghost, pun unintended.

Goodbye Jason. Wish us luck in your city.

-Danny Fen-Nightingale...."

The sent date on the letter was roughly eight years ago.

[ruoshik0]

DP x DC: The al Ghul twins but with a twist! P2!!

Training, as it had always been, was tiring. Add on the fact that now, he was at least a meta-adjacent, his training regime was updated to accomadate that too. Which is annoying.

Actually, Danyal meant he hated his life in the League of Assassins. Relearning all he did back when he was a child, training like a madman and rekindling his ‘kill as fast as possible’ style of fighting, manipulating and experimenting with the Lazarus waters (It stunk. It stunk so much that Danny just couldn’t even be in the same room as it. Ugh, why was his life so fucking hard), and tinkering and engineering with gadgets whenever possible.

Danyal realizes just how much he had it easy back in Amity. The amount of free time he had, how much fun just letting lose and have nice kiddy brawl with ghosts, puns and snark, and… acting.

It had been a months since he returned. Only about few days till his seventeenth birthday. The day he plans on meeting his brother’s new family and Damian himself. In those months, he had stopped denying, letting himself acknowledge that yes, he did start caring. And he had started caring too much. It’s been a pain the unlearn all of it. And as much as he was Danyal, he was also Danny just as much.

He can be serious when he wants to be. But sometimes, an easygoing smile and mischievous glint in his eyes felt… better. It felt like he was normal again.

Normal felt more like home than whatever he had been before that.

Now, graduating from tutors and what was basically the league’s version of homeschool- he is very smart thank you, it’s just that Danny wasn’t supposed be as smart- his schedule had opened up significantly.

Which meant more training and now, lessons on business and how to deal with people and stuff related to leading the League and shit.

And perhaps this is also the best time to mention this. His coronation or something had been… delayed. Seeing as he was away doing a covert mission, meaning his education in the league was far behind. Which aslo meant, time is no longer a resource he has an abundance of.

Someone please kill him all the way. Paperwork as a monarch in the infinite realms is so much better than whatever the fuck he is going to learn in the aforementioned business shit and how to rule assassin cults. Scratch that- paperwork as a monarch so much better than the League itself. Why didn’t he kidnap Sam and Tuck with him when he returned?!

Danyal felt like crying… jokingly, though. Taking them here would just result in them getting killed or them getting forced to become assassins themselves.

Sighing, he resumed tinkering with the fun little gun he had been working on since last week.

He just hopes he would be able to say what he wanted to Damian… (and of course, terrorrize Batman and his army of children! It’s gonna be so fun!)

Invisibility and intangibility together was already a deadly match up to any living being. Which is the reason why literally no one at the dining table could notice him next to the big bat himself (Though Danny was pretty sure Signal- Duke Thomas- was sweating because of him. So… he could see his aura even if Danny was invisible).

Danyal had to say, he didn’t have any plan in his mind. Mostly because Danny didn’t plan and Danyal had grown used to not really having that in his head. He considered just leaving Damian an encrypted letter, but really, where’s the fun in that? (Danyal prioritized efficiency first and foremost. It seems everyone he met and befriended back in Amity had more influence on him than he thought)

So now, he was left debating whether or not he should just appear standing on the table doing jazz hands. He would most definately get killed by one of them if Danyal does that. But dying works in his situation.

It wouldn’t make him cool though… Then, an idea struck in his head. What if…

Damian, all things considered, was having a good time. His birthday was going great even. It’s just that at times, his mind would wander back to the sibling he had left behind. Sometimes, he would wonder if Danyal had returned from his mission. Or if he decided he wanted to live there- in Amity park- for the rest of his life.

Damian hopes he did.

He knows that nowadays, he couldn’t stand to see an indifferent expression and an emotionless stare on Danyal’s face. Because nowadays, his own semi-permanent scowl had melted into something else. Something less haunted. He couldn’t face that he went on to live his best life while leaving Danyal all the responsibilities Damian was supposed to shoulder.

So it was a pleasent surprise when he realized that the Danyal in front of him- the intruder who infiltrated the manor, who appeared out of nowhere next to father, who has a handful of father’s hair in his fist, who had, also, pulled father’s head back harshly (Damian almost wondered of Danyal was here to take him and the rest of the Bats to the other side)- was smiling. Smiling like he was here to torture them and have fun while doing that but… for once, Danyal was smiling. Openly.

The Bats didn’t even take a second to stand up and immediately engage in combat with the intruder. If it had been anyone else, facing almost all of the Bats at the same time would have been a death sentence.

Yet, in Damian’s eyes, Danyal almost looked like he was having fun. Easygoing smile, the mirth, the- the everything. It just screamed relaxed and having fun. Despite himself, Damian didn’t actually get up from his seat. He observed the person flinging his siblings into walls. He observed his actual brother.

Kick, dodge, punch, open palm strike, a tornado kick, flinging father to the wall this time, using Brown as a meat shield before tossing her towards Cain.

Unlike what he was so sure of, Danyal wasn’t here to assassinate the Waynes. He, at most, was here to have a good brawl. But that didn’t make sense. It really didn’t. Why was Danyal here? Why did he make himself known? No one came after Damian to take him back after the first few assassins because there was still an heir. A spare who blended in with the shadows better than even father. As far as he was concerned, Danyal had only gotten at hiding better at hiding. So why? It was all confusing and it made Damian angry and he just wanted answers and what else was he supposed to do? Damian did the only thing that came to mind.

He screamed for everything to stop. He slammed the table and sent a League worthy glare towards his family. All of them. Which included Danyal and father and Alfred and- everyone.

(Damian will not admit to being nervous. No never.)

They had listened. Everyone freezing in their spot as they all stared at Damian with shock. They would have died by now if Danyal decided to take advantage of that. The rest becoming aware of their mistake and sending weary glances toward their opponent. Not that Damian cares much about that currently.

“Danyal. Explain why you are here.” His voice was low and rough. It was a tone he only used in the early months of his arival here. A tone the League forced him to talk in.

Currently he needed answers and asking directly always worked. He was extra cautious in not letting anything known. While he hated to hide himself from Danyal, he didn’t know the Danyal in front of him well enough and any show of to a League assassin meant death. A gruesome one.

And really, he expected many things in response. A harsh laugh in his face or the ever present indifference that plagued Danyal when he was young. Maybe even immediately getting maimed by his beloved brother. A brother who was supposed to protect him from the shadows.

What he didn’t dare expect (yet still hoped for) was Danyal’s face and stance and the way he held himself- all visibly softening. A smile that seemed so geniune, something Damian never saw himself, something looked so foreign on the face he and Danyal shared.

“I’m here to congratulate you, akhi" And the tone he heard, it made his eyes burn. Danyals voice had lost its harshness. It had different tones- so unlike the emotionless monotoneous voice he always heard. It had all the gentleness of of the world. And Damian dared to hope. Hope that Danyal is free from the League like he was too. He really did. Because by now, he had thick and big tears tailong down his cheeks. His eyes burned.

And he was finally happy. Happy to have finally gotten his sibling back. The one before Danyal encased himself in harsh cold ice seemingly over night one day. Damian finally felt like he got his sibling back.

Danyal was now fretting over him, expressive in a way Damian hadn’t seen in more than a decade. Danyal was a phenomenal actor. And his cold hard demeanor was a facade Damian had witnessed getting built. Finally it had all melted away. Finally he can hug his brother tightly and say all the things he hesitated to say.

Finally, they can be regular brothers now.

In the back if mind, he noted that his father and family was sending confused glances to each other. He couldn’t care less about that.



[new-revenant]

Alright! Time to share all of what I have of the 4th chapter. It’s not much, but hey, it’s something. Here is the Ao3 link to the other 3 chapters. And unfortunately, the story is on indefinite hiatus because I just. Couldn’t do it ha, got overwhelmed and majorly burnt out. Anyhow, hope you enjoy what I do have. 872 words.

Edit: Opps! Forgot to tag you haha @bianca-hooks123

When Danny woke up, he was surprised at how refreshed he felt. He really hasn’t a good night’s sleep in a while, huh. His body didn’t ache, his left arm finally felt normal, and the bruises he had were gone. If not for still being trapped in his ghost form, he would’ve been having the time of his life!

As he sat up, Danny noticed that his tray of food was unfortunately gone. But, he now had a new tray of food, breakfast edition! It still had the same mix of human and Tamaranean on it, which was nice. His water bottle was refilled, accompanied by a cup of strawberry milk right next to it.

Danny quickly set out to eat all of the food, like eating the dry cereal and then drinking the entirety of the milk right after, as God intended. He didn’t eat as fast as he did last night-er, before he fell asleep. He honestly had no idea what time it was, and couldn’t see a clock nearby. A clock.

Clockwork.

Danny had to stop eating for a moment, trying to calm down the rage that was beginning to simmer. It’ll all be fine, everything back home would be fine, he just needs to pass whatever this test is and punch Clockwork in the face, then he’d be good to go. But what about this universe? Would he be able to go back here? Would he need to? Would he want to?

Danny shook his head, “No time to worry about that,” he muttered to himself, “Just eat your food, and read this note you just noticed was here.”

Danny picked up the note that he must’ve missed because he was too focused on the food. It was not written in English, or had any letters he was familiar with, and he was pretty sure spoken English here was the same as it was in his universe. It was most likely in one of the written languages of Tamaraneans, since everyone-expect Batman-thought he was a Tamaranean.

Danny flipped the note around, hoping for an English translation. The back of the note had more writing, but it was still in Tamaranean. Well that sucked. Now he has to find someone to read the note, and considering the note’s in Tamaranean, it was probably from either Starfire or Nightwing, maybe saying that they were off doing stuff. Even if Danny couldn’t read it, he did have a half-decent intuition!

With a sigh, Danny put the note back down and decided to finish his breakfast. It was so good, definitely better than anything his parents cooked for him. Who would definitely be okay if Nocturn was to be believed. Wait, was Nocturn telling the truth? Danny shook his head again, he had to believe Nocturn, for the sake of his own sanity.

Once Danny finished his food, he got out of the bed, and looked around the infirmary. He noticed three things; one, there was a clock in here and showed that it was 3 o’clock-whether it was AM or PM he didn’t know, two, someone else was in infirmary, and three, there was a box right in front of his bed.

First things first, the person in the bed was someone he hasn’t seen yet, with white, giant wings on their back. They looked they were in pain and was hooked up to something. They were already awake and was looking over at Danny.

“Ah, hello there kid,” they said with a small wave, “I’m Hawkgirl, glad you’re feeling better. Heard you weren’t in such a good state when you came in here.”

“Well, this is the infirmary,” Danny joked, “But I think I just used up too much energy.”

“Didn’t you also fall hundreds of feet from the sky?”

“Wow news spreads fast here huh? I healed pretty quickly from that though.”

“If you count being asleep for two days fast, then yes, you have.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been asleep for how many days?” Danny couldn’t believe it, two days? That means he’s already been gone for…two minutes back home so he probably didn’t need to worry about that.

“You’ve been asleep for two days,” Hawkgirl’s voice held a pinch of sadness as she spoke, “I wish I could convert Earth days to Tamaranean days, but I don’t know the conversion rate. Starfire might, but she’s on-world right now.”

“It’s okay. Also do you um, know how to read this?” Danny showed her his note, “I can’t read.”

Hawkgirl inhaled sharply, with Danny already knowing what she was going to say and he groaned.

“Yeah yeah you don’t know either, it’s fine,” Danny pinched the bridge of his nose, “Uh, newtopicnewtopic…how are you doing? Got injured in a fight?”

“Unfortunately, yes, I have,” Hawkgirl sighed, “This strange, ghost-like creature managed to mess up some of my internal-“

“Wait a minute, er-sorry for interrupting you but did you say ghost? Like the see-through dead guys?”

“I’m unsure, Batman is looking into it. Oh, and he left that box of clothes for you not too long ago.”

“Ah, that’s what the box was for. Well, I’m going to wander around this spaceship-thing until I find a place to change.”

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley) (Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 8

When I got home last night, I absolutely crashed when my head hit the pillow. It was quite a night and I needed a good sleep to recover. 

Rolling out of bed, I make my way into the bathroom to shower. Before hopping in, I take a good look at my eye in the mirror. It is swollen as all hell and vibrant purple. I can kind of open it today, but it is so swollen that I can’t fully keep it open. The cloth of the makeshift ice pack rests on the ledge of the sink next to me. 

“Guess I gotta return that today,” I say to myself.

After my shower, I scurry outside in my towel to grab my signature overalls. They should be dry by now since they have been sitting there all morning. 

When I open the door, I am met with pouring rain. My overalls are lying on the porch where I had left them, drenched. Arguably more than they were after I washed them.

I take a deep sigh and just leave them where they are. They can’t get any wetter than they already are.

I throw on a flannel, unbuttoned, over a white tank top and the distressed jeans from last night. I go back into the bathroom and grab the cloth that is on the side of the sink.

“It’s too early to bring this straight to Gus, so I’ll bring it to Emily instead so she can bring it to work when her shift starts,” I decide.

I embark on my trip into town not bothering to grab anything to cover me from the rain. When I walk past my mailbox, I notice I have a letter.

Hi.

Me sell hats. Okay, poke?

Come to old old old haus, poke. Bring coines.

-hat mouse

“What in the world?” I question while reading the letter.

I look at the few coins I have in my pocket. I shrug and decide to go find this ‘hat mouse’. I’ll have to ask Marnie for assistance though so I book it over to her farm.

“Hi Danny. You look like you're soaked...you poor thing!” Marnie greets me as I walk into her house.

“It’s really coming down out there. Is it always this heavy of rain?”

“Yup. It’s usually all or nothing. Don’t be alarmed when you hear thunder soon, too! They were calling for heavy thunderstorms. Be careful out there!”

“I’m going into town today so I shouldn’t be outside long. I need to find Emily to give something back. However, I was also wondering if you know anything about this?” I showed her the letter I received this morning.

“Ahhh the Hat Mouse! He lives over that way from here,” she points behind me, “ Just keep walking farther south and you’ll come across an abandoned house. He should be poking around down there. Such a cute little fella. Emily lives in a beige house beside a blue house. 2 Willow Lane.”

“Awesome, thank you for the directions. Plus I am in need of a new hat,” I chuckle, “I’ll see you around, Marnie.”

I glance around to look for the easiest path to the Hat Mouse. I have to push through lots of ferns, shrubs and greenery. The trees somewhat protect me from the rain, but giant drops manage to drip onto me from the leaves.

An old rickety house appears in my line of sight. I speed up with trampling through the greens and approach a window at the front that has a ‘Hats’ banner next to it and a logo of a top hat on the other side. 

“Hello..?” I tremble with uncertainty.

Hat Mouse pops his head up in the window, “Hi. Me sell hats. Here.” He sets out a couple of options of hats onto the ledge of the window before I can even get another word in. 

A classic, brown cowboy hat catches my eye. 

“I’ll have this one please,” pointing to the cowboy hat.

“Have one donate to museum?” Hat Mouse questions.

“What do you mean?”

“Did one bring things to museum? Everything?” 

“Um… no… but I have all this?” I dump my handful of coins onto the ledge beside the hat. Hat Mouse’s eyes widened.

“Fine. Take hat anyway. Bye now,” he swipes all the coins into the house, shuts the window, and closes up shop.

I dust off the hat with a puzzled expression on my face, and place the hat atop my head.

“Now to figure out my way back.” I mumble to myself shaking off the weird encounter.

I started cutting back through the leaves, trees, and bushes and was able to find Marnie’s farm. I follow a pathway to the right of Marnie’s farm and behind a little cottage. 

That must be Leah’s cottage. I say in my head.

I keep walking until I pass a big, blue house and come across the cute beige one right beside it. I double check the sign out front for the address.

2 Willow Lane

“This must be it!” I say as I walk up and knock on the door.

“Come in!” A cheery voice calls out.

I gently open the door and peer around inside. My clothes are soaking wet from the rain so I try to ring them out before stepping in. Nobody seems to be in the main living room area where the door front door is. 

“Hello?” I call out, stepping farther into the house.

I hear a gasp come from what I assume is the kitchen, so I hurry my way over.

Haley is standing there, in an oversized t-shirt and lacey panties. She is standing there like a deer in headlights. Her eyes are trained on me, giving me a frightened look, but she appears to be holding something behind her back.

“I- I thought you were Alex.” she trembles.

“Ah nope. Not Alex. Sorry,” I say while scratching the back of my neck and averting my gaze to anything else but her.

She pulls out the item she had behind her back and it appears to be a jar. She starts trying hard to open it and failing miserably.

“Are you strong?” She asks after a few attempts.

“I mean…” I gave her a little flex of my bicep, kind of trying to show off. The rain had made my flannel cling tight to my body. Her cheeks go pink as she seems entranced by the gesture.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she hands over the jar to me. Without even a struggle, I pop it open and hand it back to her. 

“I’d say you’re stronger than you look… but who am I kidding. Thank you.” she continued with whatever dish she was making before I arrived. “Is there something you need?”

“I was looking for Emily. I wanted to give her the cloth to bring back to Gus since he isn’t open yet.”

“She isn’t here this week. She went to visit her friend, Sandy or something.” She swings the knife she is holding in the air like a magic wand as she speaks.

“I guess I’ll have to bring it tonight then. Thanks.”

As I head to the door to leave, lightning flashes through the window, and thunder rattles the house soon after. Haley looks up from what she is doing to look over at me, then she looks back down at her food.

“Just stay.” she demands in an aggressive tone.

“Yes ma’am,” I tip my new hat down at her. She must’ve been looking from the corner of her eye because I see her smirk.

She puts down her food, walks into a room, and comes back with a fluffy yellow towel. Haley tosses it over to me unexpectedly and I end up catching with one hand. I start wiping myself down with it to dry off the best I can.

“Impressive,” she mumbles, “I see your eye is still pretty bad,” she says a little louder.

“I mean it has only been a day,” I reply back.

“Do you want some more ice for it? I have some if you need. I still feel really bad. I was just riled up and had some pent up emotions. Took it out on that poor pool ball… and your face I guess.” She gives me an apologetic laugh.

“It’s alright, it’ll go away soon enough. No need for any ice.”

“Oddly enough, I think it looks good on you.”

“What did you say?”

“I said it looks good on you.”

“Wow so you like seeing me in pain is that it?” I tease her.

“Oh my Yoba, no! That’s not what I meant! Just never mind,” she waves her hand in my direction as if telling me to stop talking. “Are you hungry?”

“I could go for some food, sure.” I walk closer to her in the kitchen and kind of linger behind her. I hear her breath hitch as I lean over her shoulder to see what she made to eat. “Can I have one of whatever that is?” I mutter near her ear. Her arms are covered in goose bumps.

“Ye-yeah of course you can. It’ll just take a minute. Do you mind opening that jar again?”

I pop the jar open for her once again and take a seat at the table in her kitchen. The two of us go silent for a minute.

“So… was Alex supposed to be coming over? Were you waiting for him?” I finally break the silence.

“No. He is just the only person who usually shows up at the door. I didn’t expect it to be anyone else.” She turns around and carries the two plates of food to the table. After setting them down, she grabs out two glasses and fills them with orange juice.

“Oh, I’m allergic…” I joke. However, she doesn’t catch my joking tone and panics.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry!” She runs the cups of orange juice far away from me and just starts frantically spinning in circles, trying to think of where to put the cups.

“I’m just messing with you Haley” I finally tell her.

“How dare you do that to me! You had me panicking. I didn’t want to hurt you twice in a row!” She shouts at me.

“Sorry. I couldn’t help it,” I chuckle. She brings the two glasses of orange juice back over to the table but hesitates before setting them down.

“You’re sure?” She quizzes me.

“Positive,” I tap the table to where she is about to put the drink, alerting her it’s okay to set it down.

We sit across from one another and eat in silence, casually looking up at each other here and there. 

I end up finishing first so I stand up, take my dishes to the sink, roll up my sleeves, and start washing them.

“You better not be washing those dishes,” Haley calls from the table. I walk over and take her dirty dishes from her to wash as well.

“And if I tell you I am, what are you going to do about it?” I tease as I continue to wash them.

Haley suddenly appears next to me at the sink. I flinched a bit because I didn’t even hear her walk over. I developed a grand idea to flick some of the water off my hands at her.

Haley gasps in disgrace, “You did not just do that?!”

I bend down to get in her face, “And what if I told you I did, what are you going to do about it?” I repeat. Our faces are only inches apart at this point, eyes locked onto one another's

An unreadable emotion spreads across her face. Her expression has softened and her eyes look into mine as if she wants something. I see her gaze flick down to my lips and right back up into my eyes.  I only catch that expression for a second because she snaps back into reality and backs up.

“I think you should go now,” she immediately closes up and shuts me out. 

“But I-” I start.

“No! Go NOW!” She cries.

Feeling like a scolded puppy, I hurry over to the door and walk out without another word. I shut the door behind me and stood there on her doorstep for a minute to process what had happened.

To make matters worse, Vincent, and who I assume is his mom that I haven’t met yet, are walking past. Vincent starts waving at me excitedly, his mom just gives me an empathetic side eye.

Embarrassed over the whole situation, I give them an awkward smile, and give Vincent a small wave.

I step away from the door and start heading home. I look back at the house one last time and see a silhouette watching from the front window. It quickly disappeared when I turned back to look, leaving the curtains dancing around from the swift disappearance.

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Fool’s Crown

@hannahmanderr

Danny is very very stupid, Amity Parkers are very very oblivious, and a crown is apparently very very easy to hide.

Look okay, Danny had an issue, and, okay, he was also a dumbass. Meaning…

…

That’s right! He dealt with his issues like a dumbass.

His current issue?

One. Crown.

One crown that will not come off of his head even when he tries to yank the thing off with both his hands and his feet at the same time.

He even tried smacking it with a frying pan and only succeeded in giving himself a mild concussion.

Jazz had some words to say about that.

Sticking the crown in the portal and closing it with him still on the other side, also didn’t do shit.

So yeah.

He was NOT impressed. ‘Not’ with every single letter capitalised for the oomph… and to make a point about how not amused he was. Because he was very not amused.

So what was Danny to do about a floating green flaming glowing crown that will not fuck off?

Well get it to stop floating for one, which was surprisingly actually doable. Huh. Who knew. It’s got a cold metallic weightiness to it that felt like it was going to give him too many headaches; both literally and metaphorically (He was absolutely right on that one).

That just left him with the glowing problem, the flaming problem, the green problem, and the fact that it was a goddamn crown problem.

But flames plus frost from a kickass ice core equaled no more fire, nice and easy breezy, like he wished more things would be. Not out loud obviously, because, you know, Desiree. But yes, more easy things please! Thank you very much! Fuck his shitty luck. He could have technically just changed the crown over to cold blue flames instead of being frosty, but then the thing would still be on fire, which was the issue he was trying to solve.

The last three problems didn’t have some easy solution he could pull out of his ass on the spot, but you know what he could do on the spot and get nearly on the spot?

Amazon.

And you know what he could get on Amazon?

A thick leather crown.

And what could he do with a thick leather crown?

Why undo the stitching on the bottom so he could just… slide it over his actual crown.

Is it stupid? Like, very stupid?

Yes.

Does he buy the crown?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Sam is judgmental but lets him use her prime account and he’s got that bitch in hand with same-day delivery. Sam is also judgemental that he makes her undo the stitching, she was better at stitch work than him so he thought it made sense okay! Gosh!

And!

Guess what!

Shit fucking works.

He can just slide it right over his crown. It’s like whoever designed these leather crown things did it with the Crown Of Fire in mind! Talk about a win for him!

Tuck slapped his knees and Sam facepalmed with multiple groans. At least Sam still attached little straps to the bottom of the leather crown so he could actually fully attach it to his crown securely. It made him look like he had a floating leather crown! It was hilarious! And it made the metal of the crown dig into his head less when he forced it to stop with the floating.

All in all he’s tickled green with his success.

Does his ‘fashion choices’ get questioned, and mocked, and belittled, and attempted at being stolen?

Oh of course.

Did he care?

Ha! Not a chance!

He did have Wes pointing at him and shrieking about him having too big of an ego to be willing to hide being the ghost king though, that was fantastic.

Fantastic because that meant that no one would ever believe he actually was the ghost king.

Which he was and he was goddamn rocking it.

Rocking it while totally leather strapped, making him an absolute leather daddy.

Eh? Eh? Ha! He thinks he’s funny. Because he is. That shit was absolutely hilarious.

Oh! Maybe he should actually, like, get into the leather subculture to really sell it. Then he’d totally rock a leather pride flag at the next pride.

…

Johnny’s going to insist on teaching him how to ride a motorcycle then, isn’t he?

Oh yeah he totally is.

Sure he couldn’t wear a helmet over his stupid crown thing but ain’t fucking nobody going to question a Fenton about following road safety or driving laws.

Ah he was about to be a leather crown wearing, motorcycle driving, space nerd, who handled and made supernatural ghost weapons.

Poor Amity. Poor poor Amity.

That was a lie. Amity loved his stupid weird dumbass, and he knew it.

End.

Prompt: After becoming Ghost King, Danny discovers that his crown refuses to be taken off his head, or even to disappear. This might not be a problem, if he didn't have to worry about going to school.

[footprint-in-the-snow]

I actually desperately want someone to explain every reference in the SATVB art please <3

okay so i havent figured out Everything but this is most of what i can gather. sorry there arent links to specific references im not supposed to be doing this i need to be packing for uni 😭 but this is everything off the top of my head !

starting from the left wall theres the peep show poster which matty has said to be his favourite show in a reddit comment, idk what the streets poster is a reference to, the ghost on an island is an antichrist reference 'theres a ghost on this island' and then the petrol can is an its not living reference as 'danny works in a petrol station'

so the back wall obviously the cancelled banner for lols, 4 days since last incident as a general meme reference?, do not use emergency only is likely a reference to mattys abstinence from social media and being a bit OTG, flushed away poster is obvious, the fake matty quote which he never said and was on the problematic, oasis poster as they need to stop marding and get back together!!! from Q with Tom Powell and various other Oasis call outs, Maroon 5 as problemattic beef, Newcastle United as duh, Frozen as he referenced liking frozen in a couple 2014 interviews particularly the moshcam (?) one, idk about the IDs and then the box from the philharmonic orchestra album, the icon from the mind shower detox thing they did for notes which was a 3d tour thing that's still up and then the height chart as matty is short <3 and the good boy points which i dont know what it is referring to specifically but i think its funny

now the window/right wall has la poesie est dans la rue is etched into the tree and is an easter egg in quite a few music videos and is a reference to love it if we made it, the minion i assume is a reference to the deuxmoi thing of matty sending minion memes to a girl, and then a camera i assume is a general comment on the lack of privacy you get as a celebrity and 'house with just three walls' etc

the couch and table has matty smoking and chained to the couch as a reference to the consumption bit and could be reference to the idea that he is stuck in a position of his own doing, hann is a wizard i presume as a hobbit reference? and then the dubai and malaysia flags as he got banned,oxygen tank from consumption, cross due to the religious signposting on his ig story and a juxtaposition to his atheism, thesaurus for those big words, infinite jest as its referenced in sincerity is scary, wine, cigarettes, xanax as a reference to 'Xanax and a newport' in part of the band, i live cum mug from the problemattic, american flag as a lot of their music is informed by Americana especially on notes(? maybe also just because america)

then on the floor here theres the coke bottles as matty cannot be seen without one, the piss/apple juice from when he was spotted with gabbriette, the fox i saw on twitter means temptation so could be a very subtle hint towards temptation from porn and the right and so on, raw meat from consumption and its being 'swept under the rug' so could be a metaphor for matty being problematic and it being glossed over by him, hairdye as there was twitter rumour he dyed his grays and matty has previously said he would not, flame and wok box as the boys used to work there, typewriter from the typed up letters he used to do but u dont know what 'im not a beatnik im a catholic' is a reference to, true romance is one of mattys favourites and was a key inspiration for the robbers video

i have no clue what this is other than human blunt? and seeds and beans? as a gyat reference? help?

this corner has the married computer so man who married a robot, lotion and tissues for activities, cow with glassjaw hoodie as a nod to when we are together and also the nme interview where he mentions that hoodie as the one he put on at 13 and took off at 19 if im correct, grass block from satvb promo, tent could be a nod to reading and leeds? then skeleton with the lab coat i dont know exactly but i think it could be another problemattic reference with me on the brain, and then 2013 george with his blue gatorade as in most gigs you can see his blue gatorade with its own stand!! (though i watched trsmnt the other day and it was orange) and he is producing i think it could have been drawn from a photo but i cba to find it

and last but not least, ross!!! who is also jesus as there were lots of memes surrounding him looking like jesus or being a personal jesus and so on, also could be to do with the problemattic post of ricky gervais on the cross for being an atheist, penguin!! because ross likes penguins, bees are a manchester symbol, beer, robber with the iconic 2014 shirt, greggs sausage roll i presume from when one got thrown onstage but also the twitter meme of 'i saw matty crying in x greggs' and then i think the last on is a mortal kombat character and nearly forgot but ross also has a lamp as he turned off the lamps at the end of when we are together during atvb on stage

[whoreinadegradingway]

The Morning

Hey, duke who’s this, Dick said holding up a few old looking photos. Duke gasp because he knew he had those pictures hidden, that means Dick went through his stuff, “why were you going through my stuff”. “What? No I wasn’t” Dick looked highly offended by my accusation of him going through my room. “I know right where I hid them, you would have been looking to find them”. I said trying not to remember the day that the photos were taken. “Why did you hide them” I looked at Dick like he was crazy he knew better then anyone not to ask questions like that. “ They hold some bad memories” I said shaking what happened out of my head. “You both look happy” he added “Well it didn’t last” I snapped. After that he left me alone. I could only remember what happened after to photos what had happened to the love of my life, the dare, the accident, how I was forced to leave. When I had gone back to my room, Dick had returned the photos almost imminently, I saw a letter. It was about the kings coronation, I laughed quietly not thinking my love would go this far. I was going. To the crowning of Danial Fenton or Danny Phantom or Danial Nightingale whichever works.

TIME SKIP

Dick had told no one about the pictures seeing how upset they had made Duke.

I got ready in the hotel room that I had got Bruce to rent for me saying I needed some time away. I would be teleported via invite to my loves crowning, to say he was shocked when he saw me was an understatement.

We had the time of our lives we danced and drank and partied and all of the other things. Danny asked me to stay with him, not like that get your head outta the gutter. I have known Danny forever we were always meant to be married. I knew that because Danny was now king tomorrow wedding planing would start, can’t say I was sad i’ve been waiting my whole life for this. I planned to tell my family that this was a well earned vacation, it was but i would be coming back married to the king of the infinite realms who was just a baby enriched god but he would be massive. The ghost already saw me kind of as his “wife” I didn’t mind. Was Jazz wooing Cass in the mortal world, yes did they both deserve they love that came from that relationship, yes, yes they did. Let’s just say a few years later after learning I was married, they also learnt who was in the photos.

[bisexual-in-every-gender]

Survey

What are three names you like that start with the same letter as your first name?

Amalia, Annika, Anjali

How old will you turn on your next birthday?

33 :/

What are three things you like about your birth month (besides it being the month your birthday is in)?

It's usually warm and sunny but not too blazing, it's Pride month and everything looks gay

And what are three things you dislike about it?

Sometimes it rains, I get older and it's the month we have a big work event every year

List three celebrities that are the same height as you.

Danny de Vito, Melissa Rauch, Judy Garland

Are you happy with your height or do you wish you were taller/shorter?

Taller. Much, much taller.

Which family member did you inherit your hair colour from?

My dad.

List three things in nature that are the same colour as your eyes.

Moss, fir trees, algae

What was your favourite class in high school?

English and Arts

How many sisters do you have?

Two.

How many brothers do you have?

Zero.

If you had a twin sister, what would she be named?

Salome? That's the name I was almost given.

How many dogs did you have in your lifetime?

One (Luna) for a very short amount of time. We only had her for three months, then we had to give her back to the shelter, unfortunately. She was sold to us as a "family dog", but she had been severely abused and re-building her trust in people would have required an expert's knowledge, not that of a first-time dog owner, and time that I as a full-time employee did not have. In the end, it was better for her to find someone better suited to her needs.

How many cats have you had in your lifetime?

Two: Kaveri (bless his little heart, he is now in his final resting place 💔) and our current cat Bertha

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

I like both, but cats flock to me naturally.

Where was your dad born?

Berlin, Germany.

Where was your mum born?

Berlin, Germany.

Where were you born?

Three guesses.... Berlin, Germany.

Have you ever met anyone unrelated to you with the same surname as you?

No, but it's common, so I'm sure I will at one point in my life.

How many sisters-in-laws do you have?

Technically 5, but Izzy only grew up with two of them. The other 3 are her half sisters.

How many brothers-in-laws do you have?

Two

How many nieces do you have?

Technically 7. My own sister has three daughters to whom I'm not allowed contact, my sister-in-law has twin daughters and one of Izzy's half sisters got two daughters as well, but Izzy's got no contact to said half sister. So I only really know two of my nieces

How many nephews do you have?

6. One of my sisters-in-law has a son, the other has two. Then Izzy's half sister to whom she has no contact has two sons and my brother-in-law who Izzy also cut off due to transphobic behaviour has a son as well.

How many of your grandparents are still living?

One.

What are three things you have been complimented on?

My organisational skills, my intellect and my humour

What is your dream job?

Probably an employee in a cat cafe or something.

Do you consider yourself religious?

I believe in God, but I wouldn't call myself religious.

When was the last time you stepped foot into a Church?

A good few years ago. I have a complicated relationship to the Church and like to separate it from my faith.

Do you regularly attend a Church? Why or why not?

I used to. I grew up very religious, going to Church was normal for me. However, it's a breeding ground for abusers. I was sexually and emotionally abused by Church members of different Churches and different affiliations, which made me lose hope in the Church as an institution. I still believe in God, but I am of the opinion that you can live your faith without attending Church.

Have you ever been to a mosque?

No.

Have you ever been to a synagogue?

No.

What is your favourite religious holiday?

Christmas.

If applicable, does your faith mean a lot to you?

It does, but I don't try and convert people. I also stopped believing in the kind of God that is spoken about by so-called Christians. I have read the Bible three times and attended Bible studies, so I know the historical context of the Scriptures and know that the reason a lot of the rules in the Bible exists is because it served a purpose at that time, especially hygienic reasons. Also, that book was written over 1,000 years ago by cishet men who couldn't imagine homosexual people even being a thing. And also, Jesus never mentioned gay people. At all. That was Paul, and he hated women, too. Don't listen to that misogynistic prick. In other words, yes, my faith means a lot to me personally, but I practice it within the confines of its historical and logical context.

Do you have the same worldview as your parents?

Absolutely not. They're creationists and while they accept me being queer, they think it wasn't intended for me to be so and that originally, God had other plans for me. We butt heads over it a lot.

Have you ever attended a Christian school?

Yes, twice. Though with all the bullying taking place there, you'd hardly know it.

Have you ever been baptised and if so, when or where?

Yes, when I was 14 in a big pool at my Church.

Are you happy with the current state of your nation?

No, Germany is becoming more and more right-wing and xenophobic, so as a queer person, it definitely worries me.

How many different medications do you take each day?

Three: Blood pressure pill, diabetes prevention and antidepressant

Which medication do you hate the most and why?

I'm frustrated I'm reliant on antidepressants, they also reduce my fertility which is already a problem and they sometimes give me auditory hallucinations.

Is your current doctor male or female?

Female.

Do you prefer male or female doctors? Why?

Male, just because female doctors often include me in this "us women" speak, which gives me dysphoria.

How is your mental health?

F***ed. I suffer chronic depression and anxiety disorder and lately, I've felt more burnt out than usual.

[scratchybongvt]

Mascots play FC25 (Sidemascots 1.6)

Stay tuned for a poll at the end!

Starring…

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season- WHAAAAAAAAAT?

Tina: What’s the problem?

Sumi: We didn’t invite Tina and Yodli to the Sidemascots yet!

Yodli: Oh thanks for nothing! I have a yodel class anyway!

[Technical difficulties]

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season 1!

Sumi: Compensating anyone who failed the “sabotage Paralympic Phryge” challenge, the winner will get an even massive pay-rise!

Wenlock: Game on! COME ON YOU HAMMERS!

Quarter-finals

Vinicius (Flamengo) vs. Sumi (Vancouver FC)

Sumi: WHAAAAAAAT?! No Canadian Premier League in FC25?! This is an outrage!

Vinicius: To be fair, Vancouver Whitecaps won the Canadian Championship recently.

Sumi: I don’t care if they win anything or not, I’m loyal to the CPL!

(Burke chokes Sumi)

Burke: Disrespect Major League Soccer and I’ll BREAK YOUR NECK!

Sumi: okay, okay, I’ll choose the Whitecaps!

Burke (Atlanta United) vs. Borobi (Brisbane Roar)

Burke: Brisbane Roar?

Borobi: I’m from Brisbane mate! To be fair, shouldn’t you choose a team from the USA that also starts with the letter B?

Burke: I’m not from Boston, and no MLS franchise start with B.

Borobi: Oh. Game on mate!

Burke: How about we play Rush? I love this mode!

Borobi: Let’s stick to kick-off mate. It’s like switching from AFL to AFLX!

Burke: AFLX, what is it?

Borobi: Exactly.

(Meanwhile…)

(We’re kicking it off! The ball is in the Whitecaps’ possession… oh my!)

Vinicius: What?

(They kicked it into their own net, what were they thinking?! 1-0 Flamengo!)

Sumi: Whoops!

(Meanwhile…)

(Brisbane’s starting forward is standing still…)

(Oh my, he got tackled! Yellow card!)

Burke: Start moving Borobi! Do I need to teach you which joystick to move?

Borobi: No mate. No. Mate.

Wenlock (West Ham United) vs. Soohorang (Gangwon FC)

Wenlock: You won’t stand a chance against the mighty hammers!

Soohorang: My team is in third currently.

Wenlock: Does it have anything to do with the fact that your team had to fight for safety last season?

Soohorang: How do you know?

Wenlock: Research in advance.

(Meanwhile)

(And Brisbane Roar is doing a full Luigi!)

Burke: Get on with it!

Borobi: I like to see you score.

Burke: FINE!

(Meanwhile)

(The score is a bit lopsided, Flamengo leads 19-0.)

(Oh my!)

Vinicius: What the…

(Vancouver Whitecaps scored… another own goal!)

Sumi: Whoops!

Vinicius: This is top-tier match-fixing.

(Meanwhile)

(Lucas Paqueta is through on goal…)

Wenlock: SHOOT!

(The crossbar! He looks as embarrassing as his dances!)

Wenlock: Since when did FC25 has disrespectful commentary? I demand ANSWERS!

Soohorang: Classic.

(Meanwhile)

(It’s the full-time whistle, the score’s at 0-0 and we’re going to extra time!)

Burke: This is top-tier match-fixing…

Vinicius: That’s EXACTLY what I said!

Borobi: I don’t need 90 minutes mate, all I need is 30.

Burke: Show-off!

Miraitowa (FC Tokyo) vs. Honohon (Nagoya Grampus)

Miraitowa and Honohon: THE BATTLE OF THE JAPANESE!

Honohon: Tokyo vs. Nagoya…

Miraitowa: LIVE at International Stadium!

Miraitowa and Honohon: GAME ON!

(Meanwhile)

(It’s Flamengo 76 Whitecaps 0)

Vinicius: Don’t you dare…

(Vancouver scored an own goal! As Vinicius once said, this is top-tier match-fixing!)

Vinicius: Sumi!

Sumi: Blame it on the stick drift!

Vinicius: We’re not on Nintendo Switch, Sumi! We’re on PlayStation 5… Pro!

Sumi: Oh….

Vinicius: What?

Sumi: …whoops.

(Meanwhile)

(Dax McCarty with a chance… goal! He nutmegged the goalkeeper!)

Burke: E-say! E-say!

Borobi: Just you wait mate! You haven’t seen the real Brisbane Roar.

(Meanwhile)

(Michael Jackson… I mean Danny Ings with a shot…)

Wenlock: Shot it home!

(Saved! This is as hollow as their Conference League win!)

Wenlock: Who made this commentary?! 442oons?!

Soohorang: pffft…

(Meanwhile)

Miraitowa: I’ve just realized the J-League isn’t in the game.

Honohon: eFootball then?

Miraitowa: REALLY? YOU’RE THE BEST!

(Meanwhile)

(This game is so boring, I refuse to commentate the rest of the game. Own goal. Again.)

(Meanwhile)

(Miranchuk to cross, and he’s made a screamer! Everyone’s having Messi PTSD! 2-0 Atlanta!)

Borobi: That’s it! Commence operation: 2011 Grand Final!

Burke: Ha- what?

(Meanwhile)

(Fullkrug to score the winner!)

Wenlock: DO IT!

(World-class save!)

Wenlock: WHY?!

Soohorang: Time to end this…

(The keeper punted to the other side… GOAL! This goal is as long as West Ham’s current trophy drought! 1-0 Gangwon!)

Wenlock: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I’M RATING FC25 A 1/10!

Soohorang: #justlikeeveryotherfifagame

(Meanwhile)

OC IV: Miraitowa and Honohon, I’m kicking both of you out for switching games!

Miraitowa: Awww…

Honohon: What’s wrong with eFootball?

OC IV: I’m sorry, nothing tops EA Sports.

Miraitowa: What about UFL?

OC IV: Hm. Maybe right. EFOOTBALL IS SHIT!

Miraitowa: Aw. How about you come over to my flat and play eFootball together?

Honohon: I didn’t know you have a PS5

Miraitowa: I only have a PS4.

Honohon: Oh. But still. It’s a 2 hour Shinkansen ride away.

Miraitowa: I’ll bring the cup noodles!

Honohon: I’ll bring the popcorn!

Miraitowa: I’ll bring the trophies!

Honohon: I’ll bring a signed jersey of Ritsu Doan!

Miraitowa: I’ll bring a signed jersey of Takumi Minamino!

Miraitowa and Honohon: GAME ON!

(Meanwhile)

(Acosta shoots… GOAL! The score is 2-1!)

Borobi: Game on the grand final isn’t over for Brisbane mate!

Burke: SHOW-OFF!

(Meanwhile)

OC IV: Whoever wins goes straight to the final!

Wenlock: WHAT?!

Soohorang: Isn’t this the quarter-finals?

OC IV: Yeah, but the other quarter-finalists are stupid enough to play eFootball.

Soohorang: Oh haha. Thank god the K-League is licensed.

Wenlock: There are more withdrawals than the 1872 FA Cup! Come on, we can do this….

(It’s all over! Gangwon wins 1-0!)

Soohorang: To the final I go!

Wenlock: Do you even have a continental title?

Soohorang: No. what do you have?

Wenlock: The UEFA Conference League!

Soohorang: Pffft…

Wenlock: What?

(Soohorang bursts in laughter)

Wenlock: When do we have the respect we deserve…

(Meanwhile)

(Brisbane Roar with the corner…)

Burke: Come on boys… we can do this…

(Header, GOAL! 2-2! It’s 2011 all over again!)

Burke: Ack, my last-minute equalizer PTSD… (collapses)

(Meanwhile)

(Wake up everyone! Flamengo won 150-0!)

Vinicius: ARGH! Did we win?

Sumi: Whoops!

Vinicius: 150-0?! That’s more match-fixing than an average game in Madagascar!

Sumi: Whoops!

Vinicius: Admit it! You deliberately scored 150 own goals since you don’t want to play with the Whitecaps!

(Burke chokes Sumi again)

Burke: Play it properly next time or I’ll BREAK YOUR NECK!

Sumi: okay, okay, I’ll play properly next time…

(Meanwhile)

(Chance for Brisbane Roar to take the lead… 3-2! What a comeback!)

Borobi: We didn’t do that in the grand final mate! Legend!

(And the final whistle goes, never mind 90 minutes, somebody shorten the game to just 30 minutes!)

Borobi: Ha.

Semi-final

Vinicius (Flamengo) vs. Borobi (Brisbane Roar)

Vinicius: Hey Borobi…

Borobi: What? I’m listening mate.

Vinicius: It’s my birthday tomorrow. Can you let me score a few goals?

Borobi: Sure. Just a reminder that we’ll score one more than you.

Vinicius: Show off!

(Transition)

(Gerson takes the ball, to Everton, GOAL!)

Vinicius: Thanks Borobi!

(Transition)

(Everton is through again…)

Borobi: Go on mate.

(GOAL! 2-0 Flamengo)

Vinicius: Thanks Borobi!

Borobi: no problem mate!

Vinicius: Time to show them REAL Brazilian football!

Borobi: Ha- what?

(Transition)

(Gerson rips through the defense…)

Borobi: Oh no…

(To Ayrton Lucas, GOAL!)

(Transition)

(Everton is through!)

Borobi: TACKLE!

(Red card, Penalty! Gerson with the penalty! GOALKEPPER LEFT VIOLATED, GOAL!)

Borobi: Oh no…

(Transition)

(It’s all over, Flamengo 10, Brisbane Roar 0.)

Borobi: Good game, Vinny, that’s the only time the Roar made it to the semi-finals this year mate.

Vinicius: Why don’t you play with the Central Coast Mariners?

Borobi: Ack, my 2023/24 PTSD… (collapses)

Vinicius: What a lightweight! SEE YOU AROUND, SOOHORANG!

Soohorang: You’re down!

THE FINAL!

Vinicius (Flamengo) vs. Soohorang (Gangwon FC)

Vinicius: Good luck Soohorang!

Soohorang: Good luck Vini!

Vinicius: You’re gonna need it, since you’re playing a bad team.

Soohorang: What?

Vinicius: haha.

(Transition)

Miraitowa: Anyone want to play eFootball?

Honohon: You should come over to his flat!

Vinicius: Nah.

Soohorang: Unless there’s a bigger cash prize - and there’s the K-League licensed.

Miraitowa: oh.

Honohon: Don’t worry, you have me.

Miraitowa: Thanks!

Vinicius: Shouldn’t you do this with Someity every other week?

Honohon: Who’s Someity?

(Transition)

(It’s Everton with the shot…)

Soohorang: Woah oh…

(Over the bar!)

Vinicius: Shit, lucky.

(Transition)

(It’s Ayrton Lucas…)

Soohorang: Woah oh…

(Hit the post!)

Vinicius: Shit, lucky.

Soohorang: Oh, haha.

(Transition)

(It’s Gerson, the captain, he never misses…)

Vinicius: Goal!

(Offside!)

Vinicius: It’s like this game is finding an excuse to prevent me from scoring!

Soohorang: Oh, how unlucky…

Vinicius: How unlucky?!

Soohorang: How unlucky…

Vinicius: Do you bring any lucky charms?

Soohorang: No, but I do have Frosted Flakes.

(Vinicius facepalmed.)

(Transition)

(Here’s Flamengo’s entire front three…)

Vinicius: You don’t stand a chance!

Soohorang: Park the bus, PARK THE BUS!

(Saved! hit the crossbar! hit the post! Hit the other post! Hit someone’s butt! Goal! Offside!)

Vinicius: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! This is as corrupt as FIFA!

Miraitowa: That’s precisely why you should play-

Vinicius: Shut up Mirai and your Japanese rip-off!

Miraitowa: It’s not a…

Vinicius: SHUT. UP.

(Transition)

(Flamengo’s still finding for a goal, Pedro Pedro Pedro with a stopover…)

(TACKLED! RED CARD! PENALTY!)

Vinicius: You don’t stand a chance…

(Here’s their captain with the penalty…)

Vinicius: (deep breath) let’s finish this…

(To the right, SAVED!)

Vinicius: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

Soohorang: Oh no, how unlucky…

Vinicius: REVEAL YOURSELF! YOU’VE CHEATED!

Soohorang: No, I’ve got Intel from Fluminense.

Vinicius: You f**ker. But, you clever f**ker.

Soohorang: (yawns) time to end this…

(The goalkeeper made a high punt!)

Vinicius: mer mer mer mer mer.

(Vitor Gabriel is chasing the ball, scorpion kick, GOAL!)

Vinicius: I quit!

(And the final whistle goes! Gangwon FC made a major upset against the Brazilians! Expect candlesticks all night long!)

Soohorang: SOUTH KOREAN PRO LEAGUE!

(Transition)

Sumi: The winner of the Sidemascots Season 1 barely friendly FC25 tournament is… Soohorang!

Vinicius: Surprise, surprise. F**k you EA Sports!

Miraitowa: How about you play…

Vinicius: SHUT UP MIRAI!

Miraitowa: I was saying how about you play UFL Open Beta?

Vinicius: Oh, maybe I would.

Sumi: With that, Soohorang’s salary for the Sidemascots increased from $456/episode to $457/episode! Cha-Ching!

Soohorang: Yay- What?

VOTE NOW!

Vinicius: For the first time in Sidemascots history, you can vote for who can take the two vacant spots of the Sidemascots season 1!

Sumi: The candidates are…

Vinicius: Tina!

Tina: I thought you’re gonna invite me…

Sumi: Someity!

Vinicius: Who promises NOT to meditate in front of cheap cameras!

Someity: Don’t you start…

Sumi: Mandeville!

Wenlock and Mandeville: COME ON YOU HAMMERS!

Vinicius: Yodli!

Yodli: YODE-LAY-EEE-OOH!

Sumi: Izzy the Whatizit!

Burke: *gasps* My Atlanta brother from another mother?!

Izzy: Your Atlanta brother from another mother!

Burke and Izzy: Bestie-westies!

Vinicius: Last but not least… Bandabi!

Soohorang and Bandabi: Bestie-westies!

Bandabi: Apart from Moongcho…

Sumi: Polls close in 24 hours!

Vinicius: So vote, NOW!

Tom: I forgot my catchphrase. Oh yes, HA, ANO-

[five-wow]

so i'm rewatching the pilot and i'm giggling a lot and i'm twelve minutes in (steve just picked up the wheel lube. he's about to meet danny. this is very stupid but it always has me going hm.) and we just learned that when john called him "champ", he was leaving a sneaky little clue to look in the toolbox in the garage:

and googling "champ toolbox" and finding a lot of champion brand results has convinced me that that's probably what this is (the streak of black grime is obviously covering part of the word/sticker), so now this whole thing is just making me think... was this a deliberately planned thing on john's end? did he sit down at some point in his life and go, "well, if i ever end up in a hostage situation and i have to convey to someone where i left the secret tapes on the investigation into my wife's murder which i've been obsessed with to the point of missing most of my children's lives to keep chasing that ghost, then i'd better have a codeword i can throw into the conversation" and then fortunately his champion toolbox just so happened to look like this? did he maybe even dump oily black dirt over the box to achieve the desired effect, like a macho man arts and crafts project?

because i wouldn't put any of that past a mcgarrett, but i'm seeing some incredibly obvious avenues to comedy here in a) what if the only person he could communicate with had been someone other than steve? would he have called, like, the elderly woman senator champ if she'd been held hostage with him somehow? and b) if this champ thing wasn't planned, but a spur of the moment idea, that would mean it's just pure coincidence that any of this worked out well enough to go undetected by the guys pointing the guns. what if the first three letters had been blacked out instead of the last three? "listen to me, mpion" just doesn't have the same ring to it. there are also many different toolbox brands, as i've discovered today! i found one that said husky on it. there's homak, which would be interesting with the last three letters crossed out like in canon. taparia with the first two letters gone would create something close to pariah, which might be a little too on the nose from this dad to this son. and then apparently there's also a brand called... dirtbag. i don't think i need to explain the joke for that one, but it has me wondering if the rest of the show would've happened if steve had hung up on john immediately after the first two words.

[plotwholls]

Dan never thought he’d be parented by himself, but here he is, being introduced as Danny’s son. He doesn’t hate it. Dani is a great sister, and Danny’s Jazz isn’t his Jazz, but she’s an awesome aunt, and sometimes she’ll call him “baby boy” and Dan feels like he’s six again, and his parents make for better grandparents than they did parents, and… maybe it helped that Danny let Dan back out once some time had passed.

It wasn’t as awkward, picking up life where he left off, as Dan thinks it might have been if Sam and Tucker were still in his grade instead of already having careers.

(It definitely made him blush knowing that his friendship with them may have developed like Danny has, but that’s a chance long gone)

All of this is inconsequential to the situation at hand. All that needs to be known— honestly and truly— is that Dan’s Ghost form will forever be wrong. He won’t ever be able to manipulate it like his father and sister can. He’s accepted this. Truly.

However

It doesn’t seem Superman can.

As Superman gaped up at Dan, he felt himself flushing. Not for the first time since returning to his right mind, he wished he could hide behind his dad. Dani was bumping up next to him, burrowing up under his arm, popping her head up in the crook of his arm like the giant cat she always acts like when Dan’s in Ghost form. Usually, it’s just a semi-annoying thing she does that reminds Dan he’s technically the older sibling, but right now, it’s his lifeline.

“…And this is my daughter, Danielle, but you can call her Dani, or Elle, or Ellie, or just ask her what she prefers since she’s her own person, regardless of who she was cloned from.”

“What!?”

“What?”

Dani grinned so wide it split her face, comfy in her spot in the crook of Dan’s elbow. “I’m his twin!”

“Whose twin?”

“Their twin!”

“Wait, who am I misgendering?”

“Them!”

“What?”

“Wait, Dani,” Dan cuts in.

“Yes?” Two Dan(ny/i)s chorus.

Dan grins, turning to Danny, despite having obviously addressed Dani. “Wouldn’t I be closer to being your twin then Dani is?”

“Well, you are an alternate version of myself, so you are my genetic twin….”

“Wha—”

“Wait, but, isn’t Dan full of the Vamp’s DNA, too? So, isn’t he my genetic twin?”

“No, because, Vlad also used your grandma’s DNA as some kind of… stabilizer…? I dunno it always sounded incest-y to me so I just ignored him whenever he tried explaining….”

“Plus, I would be closer to your sibling than your twin— I mean, you’re a lot older than me, physically speaking.”

“Yeah, that is true… wait, is that why we call him ‘mom’ and send letters demanding child support?”

“Yeah— even if he has no clue where Dan came from.”

“Or how he’s his.”

Dan shrugs. “He shouldn’t have flirted with grandma.”

Danny’s eyebrow went up. “…Or tried to kill-slash-humiliate you grandfather…?”

“Well, yeah, obviously, but who is ever going to succeed in killing dad? He’s the Kool-Aid man given human form. Didn’t we all agree last week during family game night that he could probably take on Bane and not realize it was an actual fight?”

“Well, yeah, but he’s only human—”

“Wait, wait, wait— Danny, Dan, do you have the same dad? But I thought Danny was your father, Dan….”

“Why would I be our dad? No, Danny’s our dad, and Dan’s my brother. They’re talking about Dan’s other dad.”

“Vlad?”

“No, we call him mom out of only the most transphobic disrespect we can manage.”

“‘Transphobic’?!”

“Yeah, Danny and Dan are trans—”

“What? Then how is it—”

“—just like Vlad!”

BONUS:

“How long do you think it’ll take them all to realize we showed them ‘Who’s on First’?”

Tim looked over at his brother and grinned. “I give it another two hours or so before Superman cracks the code. You?”

“Half an hour on Wonder Woman.”

“Simp.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“I’m just glad you two are getting along now—” both brothers jumped away, only to find their eldest brother standing there with a shit eating grin and a martini. “—I was getting bored, but this will provide me entertainment the rest of my life… why don’t you two get along again?”

“Just shut up, you dick.”

“Oh, real creative— what, will you use my full name next?”

Phantom proves to the justice League that he is older than he looks by showing up on take your kid to work day with his two children; his twenty year old mammoth of a son ,Dan and his ten year old little ball of sunshine,Dani.

The justice League are thoroughly spooked. Clark especially when he finds out their father is Danny's archenemy.

[intrepidacious]

not even a little

summary: The problem of living with Bucky is that he makes it impossible not to fall in love with him. Even though you could list several hundred reasons why it’s a bad idea. And you have.

pairing: roommate!bucky barnes x reader

word count: 5.7k

warnings: pining idiots in love, slightly questionable roomie behaviour, simultaneously the softest and cockiest bucky i've written so far, blink and you miss it throwing shade at iron fist

please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: this is my very late submission for kathie's (@pellucid-constellations) love letters writing challenge <3 thank you for this lovely idea, writing this was a challenge indeed but that is, as they say, a me problem. also huge shoutout to @barnesafterglow and @sweetascanbee, this really and truly would still not be done without you. love you both 💛

masterlist | read on ao3

You’re screwed. You know that you’re screwed.

Surely, there’s a rule book for these kinds of situations, and rule number one tells you in big, blinking neon letters that you should absolutely, under no circumstances, not ever fall in love with your roommate. Especially not if he also happens to be your best friend.

And yet.

Trouble is that Bucky Barnes is the type of guy that makes it very, very difficult not to fall for him.

Honestly, you should have known better when Nat had suggested the two of you move in together, that night at the bar right after college, “since you’re both new in town and all”. You’d almost spat your drink in her face when she waved him over to where you were sitting, because there was no way in hell a man called James looked like that.

“Friends call me Bucky, actually,” he’d said, a smirk on his lips that went straight to your core.

Natasha glanced between the two of you with that smug look of hers, and you shot her a warning glare because she knew. She knew from the moment you awkwardly shook Bucky’s hand that he was gonna mean trouble for you, with his leather jacket and his blue eyes and his fucking horrible tendency to be both suave and sheepish within the same sentence.

So how are you supposed to say no after that?

It’s so easy to grow close to him, too. Way too easy. You fall into a routine with such effortlessness it has you wonder how you've ever managed without him at all. Grocery runs after work and movie nights on tired Friday evenings, conversations that would be nonsensical to anyone eavesdropping, dreary-eyed breakfast at 2 p.m. Quickly, it becomes difficult to remember a time in your life that didn’t include Bucky.

Needless to say, it’s a struggle.

Thankfully, you come up with a brilliant plan about a month into your new living arrangement. Or rather, your friends do.

“You should kill him.”

“Darcy!”

“What?” Darcy tucks into her mozzarella sticks. “We’d claim temporary insanity in court, if he’s that hot, there’s no way the jury wouldn’t understand.”

“You’d make an awful lawyer,” Colleen says drily, continuing to pat your head awkwardly.

Darcy raises one impeccable eyebrow. “Got some better idea to save Y/N from Barnes’ death grip, buzzkill?”

“Remember before I broke up with Danny?”

You snort at the visceral shudder that goes through Darcy. “Those were the dark days.”

“Hah.” Colleen rolls her eyes. “Anyway. I wrote down every single time he did something that pissed me off, and whenever I felt myself falling into old habits, I went over the list. Worked like a charm. I was over him like that.” She snaps her fingers.

“And thus, another national holiday was born,” Darcy says, clinking her bottle against Colleen’s. “May we always commemorate Independrandce Day to remind ourselves that bad times don’t last.”

“All the things that piss me off?” you ask doubtfully. “I want my crush to go away, not make my apartment unbearable to live in.”

“Just try it for a while, then,” Colleen shrugs. “If it doesn’t work, you can still resort to physical violence. There’s an open spot in my Thursday class.”

You’re busy Thursdays.

It’s almost surprising how little time passes until you need to take your friend’s advice. You’re just headed into the kitchen to grab a snack before you leave for work when you screech to a halt.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Bucky turns around slowly, having the audacity to look confused even as he’s still holding the bottle. “Having a drink?”

“Of milk?” you say, trying not to actually gag. He’s lucky you’re not a milk-sharing household or you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from going off.

“Gotta keep my bones strong.” There’s a glint in his eye as he says it, too, because at this point he already knows exactly how to rile you up. He loves seeing you explode.

This time, though, you won’t give him the satisfaction.

Slowly, an empty smile on your face, you pull out your phone. Bucky, you are an actual horrible disgusting psychopath, you type with a forced sense of serenity. who tf drinks milk straight from the bottle.

You feel strangely better after that and another deep breath.

“I’m gonna go now,” you tell him a bit too sharply and turn on your heels. You’ll get food on your way.

It quickly turns into a habit. Every time he does something small that would normally set you off, you open your notes app and write it out, instead. It helps at least somewhat to stop romanticizing your situation. Level things out a little.

Because the truth is, Bucky Barnes absolutely aggravates you sometimes, and it’s good to remind yourself of those times when he’s once again wandering around the apartment in nothing but his sweatpants.

“Jesus, Buck,” you say, slumping down on the couch a few feet away from him. “Would it kill you to wear a shirt every once in a while?”

“It’s like a hundred degrees in here,” Bucky whines, not moving from where he’s reading.

“So? You don’t see me strip naked.”

His smile is lazy, but his eyes sparkle with amusement as he turns his page. “I know, and it’s a shame.”

“Fuck off, Barnes.” Your cheeks are on fire and you can only hope he can’t tell. “Nat’s gonna be here in five minutes.”

“Okay,” he says, not moving an inch.

You stare at him incredulously. “Can you please put some clothes on?”

“I am wearing clothes,” Bucky states dryly. “Besides, Nat won’t mind.”

“Dot might,” you mumble, but he ignores you. Not that you expected him to; his on-again, off-again relationship has been a topic of contention for a while now, and not because of you.

Truly, you’ve been doing a lot better lately, keeping a lid on your feelings. Which is why you’re able to look at him and his naked torso and his arms and be completely fine. Really. You pull your gaze to the book he’s holding and frown.

“Is that mine?”

Bucky finally glances at you, looking almost bashful. “You said it was good.”

You blink in surprise. You did say that, but not to him. You remember telling Colleen how much you loved it the last time you were facetiming in the living room while Bucky was perched at the kitchen counter with a bored, absent expression on his face as he silently scrolled through something on his phone.

The fact that he listened makes you choose to ignore that he’s definitely going to ruin the spine if he keeps holding the book like that.

“How do you like it?” you ask, voice slightly higher than usual.

“It’s great.” His smile returns, and you will never be sick of him looking like that, looking at you like that. So content.

The doorbell wakes you from your trance with a start.

Bucky sighs quietly as he carefully places a bookmark between the pages and gets up from the couch, rolling his shoulders. You watch him as he shuffles away to his room without another word, sweat making the hair stick to his neck. It takes you another moment to stand up yourself.

You pull out your phone as you wait for Nat to get upstairs, hesitating for a moment before you open your notes app. The feeling in your stomach uncoils.

***

There are days, despite your best efforts, that you still let yourself hope. Like when Bucky makes enough pancakes for dinner to feed an entire football team and you talk about the book he’s borrowed over maple syrup and jam until it’s eleven at night. Or when you’re out with your mutual group of friends and his gaze always finds yours after he’s made a joke, as if to gage your reaction, as if to make sure to catch a spark of amusement in your eyes.

Other times, like right now, you simply don’t have the time to question your relationship too much.

While the prospect of your upcoming promotion is great, it leaves you with an almost insurmountable pile of work that’s to be done as soon as possible, and the long hours make you putter around the apartment like a zombie. Thankfully, Bucky’s been avoiding you while you’re in this state, spending his days at Dot’s, or at Steve’s. You’re sure he’s told you at some point, but you don’t really remember.

You’ve set up your little work space in the living room, because it’s the only room with proper light in it. Most of your time is spent on the couch, noise-canceling headphones on and trying to focus on what feels like seven different projects at once. You miss feeling the sun on your skin.

As you’re trying to get your eyes to focus on the numbers and nonsensical reports flickering over your laptop screen, you notice movement in your peripheral vision. You flinch, pulling off your headphones, and then blink.

Bucky freezes mid turn, clearly not having expected you to notice him. “Sorry,” he says. “I just got home.”

Your stare remains fixed on the table. Your favorite mug is filled to the brim with tea, placed delicately on the previously empty coaster next to your pile of books.

“You looked like you needed it,” he continues, and your heart swells.

“Thank you,” you mumble and he shrugs.

“Dinner should be here in twenty, if you want some.”

You nod, watching the steam curl when he leaves you to your reports again. Strange, how easy it is to suddenly overthink a cup of tea.

You wait a couple of minutes for it to cool, then take a tentative sip. Your nose scrunches up.

He’s oversteeped it to the point of no return.

Still, you find yourself drinking most of it, because for some reason you can’t bring yourself to just pour it down the drain. It’s like you can’t quite let go of the gesture.

When the week is finally over, you both sit on the fire escape with a drink in your hands and breathe in the cool early night air. There’s undone dishes and at least three machines’ worth of laundry and a thousand other things demanding your attention, but for now, for this one evening, you’re finally content to do absolutely nothing and do it guilt-free.

It’s nice to just sit next to each other in utter silence as you watch the people below hurry along home through the traffic. The streets smell like spilled gasoline and the very last fringes of summer. The sun is setting at a deliciously lazy pace.

Bucky nudges you and points to the other side of the street. You coo as you watch the corgi waddle around the corner, almost itching for your phone to take a picture. Instead, you look up.

The sky looks beautiful, as if someone had softly smudged the deepest blue ink while it was still drying and dabbed the most glorious shades of pink and orange at the edges. A plane goes by overhead, blinking and leaving a trail of gray across the vast firmament.

“You know,” you say, leaning your head against the wall. “When I was little, I used to think these clouds were made of cotton candy.”

Bucky doesn’t laugh, but you feel the smile radiating from him without even turning. It’s like that, between you. Random thoughts are never weird. Only there to be outweirded.

“I used to think the moon was made of cheese,” he offers tonight.

You do laugh, then, short and loud. When you meet his eyes again, they’re the color of the darkest parts of the sky, and the look on his face is indescribable. Almost like surprise. It sends a chill through you.

“What?” you say, and he shakes his head.

A car alarm goes off in the distance, and you avert your gaze again, pulling the blanket tighter around your shoulders. Bucky’s phone vibrates with a message, but he doesn’t duck inside like you expect him to. Instead, you both sit there until the sun has fully disappeared, and something seems to settle.

It’s a setback that follows you well into the next year.

“I vote arsen or arsenic,” Darcy says. “You have insurance, right?”

She reaches over to grab your phone, swiftly entering the pincode with that set frown of hers as if she’s trying to hack into the pentagon again.

“I doubt they cover homicide,” you deadpan.

“Manslaughter, actually” she reads from your phone. “In the first degree. Ow!” She rubs her shin.

“Who are we getting rid of?” Natasha asks, sliding back into the booth next to you.

“No one,” you say at the same time as Darcy says, “Barnes, duh.” You give her a sharp look. She sticks her tongue out at you.

Nat bumps her shoulder against yours. “How long has it been, coming up two years in June?”

“Shut up,” you murmur, taking another sip of your milkshake. “Darce, what are you doing with my phone?”

“Well, I’m done googling, I wanna see if you actually made that list.”

“What list?” Natasha asks.

“Okay, give me that.” You try to grab your phone back, but Darcy snatches it out of your reach quickly.

“Come on, you never tell me these things anymore,” Darcy complains and continues scrolling. “We used to have so much fun! Does he snore? Does he leave his socks all over the floor? I have a need to know!”

“And it’s making you rhyme, too.”

She’s still dodging your efforts to get your phone back while she’s talking. Natasha watches both of you in amusement, eating her cheesy fries.

“Hah!” Darcy exclaims and your heart drops. “I knew it, he seems like the type to break a spine. I can always tell.”

“Darcy,” you say warningly.

She gasps theatrically. “He killed Fernadette? You said it was an accident!”

“Plants die, Darce, it’s not a big deal.”

In the moment of her outraged distraction, Nat plucks your phone from her hands. She scrolls down once, smirks, and finally hands it back to you. “Change your passcode, WikiLeaks.”

You throw the phone back in your bag resolutely, cheeks burning.

Darcy pouts. “I didn’t even get to the good stuff.”

“You know,” Natasha says, dipping her fry into the melting whipped cream on your shake. “Some of this stuff you should probably tell him.”

“It’s fine,” you say through gritted teeth. “I’m fine. We’re both still alive, aren’t we?”

“Only because you’re boring,” Darcy rolls her eyes.

Natasha lifts her glass. “To two years’ survival in June,” she grins innocently at you.

As you clink your glasses together, there’s something in her eyes that makes you feel like you’re toasting an ultimatum.

***

It’s irrevocably over with Dot when Bucky officially breaks up with her the day before Valentine’s, which is a bit extreme even by your standards, and you’ve never liked Dot.

Matter of fact, it would have made the list anyway, but all the more so when he decides to wreck your following evening as well in the process.

Being eternally single, you’d planned a nice, relaxing night home alone with a movie and some takeout to keep you from obsessively refreshing Instagram as a way to torture yourself. Cozy, quiet, totally not alone forever.

Instead, you now have a sullen-faced Bucky to contend with.

“If you’re gonna be moping all night, you can do it in your room,” you finally snap after he’s complained about your choice of food, the candle you wanted to burn in the living room, and how you decided to eat the giant box of chocolates you’d treated yourself to.

“I’m not,” Bucky says mopingly.

You roll your eyes. “Seriously, you couldn’t have chosen literally any other day of the year to break things off with her? There are a lot of them, you know.”

Bucky throws a pile of chocolate wrappers at you. You retaliate with a pillow to his face.

There’s a second for you to laugh at his expression, when he’s still too stunned to react, before the pillow comes flying back to hit you in the temple and you almost fall off the couch with a shriek.

“Aren’t you supposed to be nice to me?” Bucky asks, grabbing a pillow in each hand to use as defense.

“Pretty sure that’s a dumpee privilege,” you say, mimicking what he’s doing.

You stare at each other for a second, then Bucky throws one of the pillows he’s holding at your head. It lands on the floor as you block it with your own, taking the unlit candle down with it. You smack another of your pillows at his face.

Finally, there’s a little glint in his eye again. “I thought you didn’t like her.”

“Doesn’t mean she deserves to be dumped on February thirteenth,” you say. The second pillow misses and Bucky’s grin turns feline. Shit.

Slowly, you put one foot on the floor, Bucky watching your every move. You can see the pillow on the floor out of the corner of your eye.

You dart towards it and Bucky throws his second pillow. You duck. Your chocolates go flying to the ground, scattering everywhere. Both of you grab the floor pillow at the same time, struggling for it.

“Dickhead,” you gasp, thinking of your nice ruined chocolates. You twist to wrangle the pillow out of his grasp, but in doing so stumble. Bucky, to his credit, tries to stop your fall, but you only take him down with you, landing uncomfortably on top of each other on the couch.

Your breath hitches when you feel his weight on you, closer to him than you’ve ever dared before. There’s something in the depths of his eyes that makes it very hard to have a single coherent thought.

“Maybe,” Bucky says, and there’s a tiny crack in his voice as if he knows it, too, “I was sick of pretending.”

Time seems to freeze. He doesn’t move, and his face doesn’t change as he looks at you, not really. It’s just Bucky. Just … everything.

You can feel heat rising.

The doorbell saves you from embarrassing yourself further. You can hear Bucky cursing under his breath as you gently shove him off you and hurry to the door, your heart still thundering.

It’s a moment you keep replaying in your mind obsessively even weeks later, as if remembering it as often as possible would change the outcome at all. Would stop your food from arriving at that exact moment, and instead …

Going down that line of thought is a dangerous game, especially now that you’ve seen the freckle next to his mouth up close, delicately placed there like a dimple, like it was painted with the softest brush. It begs to be kissed.

Sam’s voice calling your name snaps you back to the present and you lock your phone, sharply turning on your heel and almost spilling the buckets of popcorn you’re precariously holding in one arm while attempting to balance the nachos with the other.

“Isn’t that a lot of snacks for four people?” Bucky asks, taking some of the stuff off you.

You don’t meet his eye and frown instead. “Why four people?”

“Nat just sent a text,” Sam says, his arm still around Misty’s waist. “Apparently Steve’s got a cold and they’re staying home.”

And with Joaquín still in Mexico and Darcy running so late at work she’d meet you at the bar later, your group of eight had just been reduced to a date with a plus two. Wonderful.

“Did you only get salty?” Bucky asks, already eating as you make your way to your seats.

“Of course not,” you say, keeping the second bucket out of his reach. “But we’re sharing these. Every time I trust you with the popcorn they’re mysteriously gone ten minutes into the movie.”

“Ain’t no mystery about it,” Bucky says. “Gimme some.”

“No!” You sit down between him and Sam. “You can wait until the trailer show at least.”

“That might be hours! I could starve by then!” He looks at you with his saddest puppy dog eyes, and it might have worked on you, too, had you not had this exact discussion several times before. “Please?”

You cross your arms over the bucket so that he won’t just reach over. “Nope.”

Sam grins. “You got a ruthless one there, Buck.”

The lights go down before anyone can notice the slight twitch in your expression.

Bucky does make it all the way through the trailer show before he starts shifting in his seat, softly tugging at your sleeve. You keep staring at the screen.

“Come on, sweets,” he whispers and you swear you feel all the hairs in your neck stand up. You don’t turn your head or move your arms. He leans over until his head is basically on your shoulder, his knee nudging yours, his hand sneaking for the bucket in your lap.

“The popcorn. Stays. With me,” you hiss. You’re tempted to slap his fingers away, but you find yourself completely immobilized.

“You said you’d share,” Bucky says into your ear. His entire arm is pressed against yours now, and it takes everything in you not to tremble. “Just let me have what’s mine.”

You can only hope no one will ask you about any particulars of the movie later on.

***

You don’t expect it all to fall apart so soon after that.

“Well,” Darcy says as the five of you huddle underneath the tiny awning in front of the bar. “I sure am glad I still came out tonight.”

It’s pouring down in buckets, the wind tearing at your jackets, the sky pitch black. The nearest subway station is a seven minute walk away, and you share a total of two umbrellas between you, one of them snatched from the lost and found box at Luke’s.

“Any of us going in the same direction?” Misty asks, opening her own umbrella. Sam takes it out of her hand to cover them both.

“Not really,” you answer, looking at Bucky. “Uber?”

He nods. “My phone’s empty, though.”

“Jesus, why isn’t this working?”

You snort, unlocking your phone without looking and pressing it into Bucky’s hand before hurrying to assist Darcy in her fight with the lent umbrella. “You need to hold it against the wind. Seriously, for someone with two PhDs—”

It finally snaps open, cutting off Darcy’s cussing. Her glasses are already blurred with raindrops.

“Well,” Sam says. “We’d offer to wait with you, but I don’t think this is gonna get better any time soon, so …”

“Just go,” you reassure him. “I’m sure we won’t be long, either. Right, Buck?”

“I don’t know,” he says, and the unexpected iciness in his tone makes you turn around slowly.

You have never seen this kind of look on his face, that coldness skewing his beautiful features into an ugly mask. In his eyes, there’s nothing, not even a trace of the fondness that swirled in them less than a minute ago. Your heart drops.

“Are you alright?” you ask softly.

“Great,” he says brusquely, shoving your phone back in your hand. “In fact, I think I might go on a walk.”

And without a word of goodbye, without a second glance, Bucky walks out into the opened floodgates.

For a moment, none of you can do anything but gape after him in disbelief. He doesn’t turn when you call his name, doesn’t seem to hear it at all. His hair is wet through immediately, sticking heavily to his neck, but it’s like he doesn’t notice the rain, his hands shoved into his pockets as he turns a corner and disappears out of your sight.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sam asks, and even though you understand why the question is directed at you, it feels like an accusation.

“I don’t know, I—”

It’s then that you glance at your phone, still opened to your notes app, and your stomach plummets again as you read your own angry, frustrated words. I actually hate you, you know that? Hells even wrong with you.

Your vision blurs.

You want to vomit, vomit or cry or both, but there’s no time.

“Take this,” you say to Darcy, pushing your phone and bag into her startled hands before you run. The wind and rain whip in your face, but you don’t care.

You have to find Bucky. You have to tell him that this is all a misunderstanding, a terrible, terrible error.

Youre such a fucking idiot.

Your boots splash water in all directions as they hit the pavement. Slow. You’re too slow. “Bucky!”

This was a mistake. I shouldve never moved in with you.

When you reach the corner of the street, Bucky is long gone.

***

You’re not sure how long you stand there in the rain before they catch up with you, huddling you between them and their two umbrellas until you stop crying long enough to get into the car they’ve called for you.

Darcy climbs into the seat beside you, and by the look on her face you can tell that this time, she’s read the entire thing.

She doesn’t say anything about it, for once keeping her mouth shut as she fishes for your keys and lets you both into the empty apartment. She’s offered to take you to her place for the night, but you shook your head so vehemently at the thought you got dizzy with it.

Maybe he’d come home. Maybe there’s still a chance to clear this thing up.

But his shoes aren’t there when you stumble through the door, and it’s cold in here. As cold as the look in Bucky’s eyes had been.

Darcy forces you into the shower, and when you get back out, there’s a steaming cup of tea waiting in your favorite mug. Of course, she still doesn’t quite understand why that only makes you cry again.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” you whisper as she wraps her arms around you.

There’s a long pause before Darcy says, “He’s got no clue what he’s walking away from.”

You don’t plan on moving from the couch, so you get Darcy to agree to use your bed for the night. She seems hesitant to leave you, even if it’s just down the hall. You stay where you are, half-seated and huddled in the patchwork blanket Bucky’s mom had sent from Shelbyville. It smells like dust and homemade cookies.

The hours seem to tick by ever so slowly, and the only noises you hear are those of the city. You doze off every now and then, for no more than a couple of minutes at a time, your head turned towards the hall.

It’s very, very early in the morning when the soft click of the front door wakes you. The rain has reduced to a drizzle, the first hesitant rays of sunshine glimmering through.

“Bucky?” you call out quietly. His steps halt for a moment, as if he’s not expected you to be here, but he comes in anyway.

He looks terrible. The rain has molten off the terrible cold mask, but his expression underneath is even worse. He doesn’t meet your eye, doesn’t even acknowledge you sitting there as he walks past you, his dark circles not quite hiding the shattered, matted blue of his eyes.

He doesn’t react to your saying his name again, and the bathroom door closes behind him before you can get up.

You stand there, unsure what to do next, how to make him look at you, talk to you again. You’re still standing there, twisting your phone between your hands, when he comes out of the bathroom again only to vanish into his bedroom without so much as a glance at you.

Two minutes, you decide. You’d give him two minutes to get dressed and sit down.

The eternity of that time span seemingly flies by, and you make yourself move.

“Bucky?” you say quietly, putting your palm against his door.

Of course, he doesn’t answer. He’s not pacing, either, like he usually does when he’s upset, but in this case, you’re not sure if that’s better or worse. Swallowing hard, you open the door.

Bucky’s sitting on the edge of the bed, as if he’s been waiting for you, his head leaning heavy against his arms. He looks terribly small like this.

“Hi,” you whisper, awkwardly. Your face feels like it’s about to melt off. “Can we talk?”

He lifts his head slowly, as if each degree it takes costs too much energy. When he finally looks at you, it almost makes you flinch.

There’s a sadness inside them, mixed with tiredness, that you’ve only caught in your own reflection.

For a long moment, you just stare at each other, before Bucky finally says, “Do you want me to move out?”

Of all the things you expected, this is not one of them. Particularly not with this hoarseness in his voice.

“I want to explain,” you say, taking a tentative step closer.

Bucky huffs a dry breath, pressing the palm of his hand to his eye. “I think it’s pretty self-explanatory that you think I’m the ‘biggest pain in the ass the world has ever seen’.”

You cross your arms in front of your chest to keep them from shaking. “I know I wrote that, but I—Colleen said I should—that it would help.”

“Help what?”

“Make it easier,” you say, so, so quietly, but he still hears you.

“And did it?”

You shake your head slowly, uncrossing your arms. “It pretty much backfired.” You unlock your phone again. “You see, I was supposed to write down all the things you did that made me crazy, but at some point … at some point I started adding the things that made me crazy about you.”

Nothing but confusion in Bucky’s eyes as he stares at you, then at your phone. “What are you saying?” he asks softly.

You close your eyes. “You should continue reading.”

Your hands are trembling so hard now he has to take the phone from your hands to make out any of the words. The silence that follows is unbearable, but you don’t dare look at him. So you talk.

“Like, remember when you went to IKEA with Steve and I couldn’t come with you, so you got me one of those shark plushies and a whole almond cake?” You can’t help but chuckle, even though you don’t feel like it. “I tried reading into that for so long, if it was his idea or if I just got stuck in your mind.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything, so you continue, still not opening your eyes.

“Or when Dot used to stay over and you’d make me an extra batch of waffles to make sure I wouldn’t feel left out. Or when we stayed up until 4 to make those Christmas cookies, even though it was September?”

He huffs again. “I broke up with her that day.”

You do look at him, then. “No, you didn’t.”

Bucky’s still staring at the list on your phone. “I brought her the last of her stuff before Valentine’s Day. I don’t think it’d hit her before then, that she could be nasty about it all now.”

His eyes are very blue again when he turns them towards you, clear and focused entirely on you. It’s hard to keep your knees from buckling.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

And there it is. The question that’s been haunting you for almost two years now, that’s been unspoken in Natasha’s gaze and in Darcy’s hug, even though they knew the answer.

Because you’re a coward.

“You’re my best friend, Buck,” you say quietly, your eyes burning. “I just didn’t … I don’t want to lose that.”

“Hey.” He stands in front of you before you even notice him moving, his hands cupping your face and turning it towards his. A shuddering breath falls from your lips. “You,” Bucky continues, “could never, ever do anything to lose me.”

“I almost did today,” you whisper and his face falls.

“I’m sorry I ran away.”

You shake your head and he pulls you into an embrace. His hair is still damp, but soft from his shower. He doesn’t smell like city rain, only the way he always does. As if it all had never happened.

And when he finally draws back to look at you with that glint in his eye, hands still loosely gripping your waist, it almost feels like a bad dream.

“So,” he says, and the cadence in his voice makes your heart stutter. You inadvertently move backwards, out of his grasp, and a wicked grin appears on Bucky’s lips. It’s impossible to look away. “She ‘didn’t deserve me’, huh?”

“She didn’t,” you say warily, watching him. He takes a step closer and you retreat.

“At least she never ‘wanted to burn all my shirts’.”

“And how would you know?” He’s still coming closer. “Just because no one’s done it …” You trail off.

Bucky hums. “No one’s ever told me my eyes ‘look criminal in this light’, either. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Bad,” you say, wincing as you bump into his dresser. “So bad.”

He’s very close to you now, his arms trapping you on both sides, towering over you. Your eyes flit between his own and his lips. That freckle.

The look on his face reminds you of late evenings on a fire escape.

Bucky’s nose bumps against yours, once, twice, as if testing the waters. You don’t think you can breathe. His eyes are so dark when he looks at you, the longing suddenly bursting through the surface, and you realize you’ve both been pretending for far too long.

His brows are knitted slightly, contemplative, as if he’s trying to commit you to memory. If he weren’t standing so close, you’d be shaking.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmurs, and the words explode into a million butterflies in your stomach. “You did get stuck in my head.”

And then he kisses you.

The rain stops.

thank you so much for reading!! please don't forget to leave a comment or a reblog if you enjoyed this 💛 if you want to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications!!

[look-at-the-soul]

Tommy Shelby Master list

✨Separate Master list for mini series, one shots and long series.

Gif by @thesoldiersminute gif set

Mini series

Pre war series - Follow Tommy & Sabine’s story through letters and flashbacks before, during and after the war.

Adele song challenge: All I ask (Part 1), “Can’t love you in the dark” (Part 2)-

One Shots

Late -Summary: You are engaged to someone else. Tommy Shelby is married. If only you two had crossed paths sooner… Sometimes chances are late. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

Saving each other - Summary: Danny Whizz Bang died at the end of S01, he was killed by Billy Kimber, two years later, his wife, Rosie and their kids will need Tommy Shelby’s help. Grace has betrayed him. They will learn they can help each other.

Safest place to hide - Summary: Tommy’s mother passed away recently, his father, Arthur Shelby Sr abandoned them out of nowhere, leaving a few months old baby Finn with his siblings, while Polly took over as a mother figure to them. But you have some important matter to tell him. (Pre war)

Lips of an Angel- S6 Farewell Mr. Shelby, I hope you take your white horse and ride bareback.

This isn’t goodbye- Babba is an elderly gypsy who lost her vision a long time ago, but now she can ‘see’ through her hands. It’s a gift that allows her to know your deepest secrets. Tommy asks for her help because he can’t sleep, the Grace hallucinations are becoming too much, but instead he will find out something he didn’t know about his first love, Greta.

Love will keep you up all night - Tommy tries to calm his little girl after she started crying scared of the storm outside. So he shares a little story of how he met her Mum.

Moondance -Tommy and his wife have a particular way to communicate while being mad at each other; through their children. When he decided to start keeping his promises, he starts with a dance.

Do I - Tommy and you had a fight, now you both have to deal with the consequences of what you said and did.

What about now - After two kids and being together for a while, Tommy decides it’s the right time to propose to the mother of his children.

Unbreakable- Being best friends with Thomas Shelby had a lot of benefits; full protection, your business was always looked after to prevent getting robbed by from thieves, your daughter was attending the same school than his children because he loved Sally as if she was his own. But it also could get you into unsolicited trouble.

More than words -Tommy struggles to sexually satisfy his woman when in reality, all she needs from him is to show her how much she means to him.

Have it all - Modern AU Tommy Shelby: Professor Jeremiah invites a friend during his ethics class to talk to his students since they are starting their last year in college. Turns out you weren’t a stranger to Mr. Shelby.

Making amends- Tommy Shelby x reader: Tommy hires a new horse trainer. But she will do more than just train his horse, she will fix his broken relationship with Charlie and in the process, she will earn his heart.

Ain’t she sweet- Tommy x Reader: Charlie finds out his Mum was shot, he decides to be distant from you, as the relationship gets harder you ask Tommy to put your engagement on hold.

Someone like you - Tommy x reader: Tommy meets a mysterious woman that looks exactly as his mother, since they believe in reincarnation, he thinks his mother found her way back to him.

Drunk on you - Tommy Shelby x reader Tommy would only admit his feelings for you after, well a night of drinking.

New traditions - Modern Tommy Shelby x reader + Charlie. Who knew that new traditions could make Tommy go soft and do things he wouldn’t normally do?

Black Velvet- Tommy Shelby x OC (Eva Smith). Eva prepares a recipe after dreaming with it. But she adds a secret ingredient to grant Tommy’s eternal love.

Collecting moments, not things -Modern Tommy Shelby x Y/N (inspired by the Blind Date couple), they take Charlie to the orphanage to celebrate Christmas with the kids.

A new kind of love -Modern Tommy Shelby x YN. Join Tommy, Charlie and Y/N to discover a new kind of love, in the form of a little new (and very cute) friend 🐾

Straight to the heart -Tommy Shelby x reader (nurse). Tommy has brain surgery but he will meet the one person who will stay with him day and night and take of him without asking from anything from him, but his heart.

Save yourself- Tommy Shelby x reader; inspired by KALEO’s song, in this story reader finds Tommy cheated, her reaction will have Tommy wishing he never did it.

Make your heart my home - Tommy Shelby x reader; Y/N is running away from Durham until she gives in on a rainy night thinking there’s nothing left for her, until Tommy finds her.

Close your eyes, make a wish - Modern Tommy has to face a kind of war he’s never been into before.

The one - Modern Tommy met his gf through a modern tool, join their little weekend getaway.

My refuge - Tommy Shelby x daughter reader; after finding his long lost daughter, they develop a strong and close bond, making Michael feel off towards his niece because of her charming and sweet personality.

A thoughtful gift - Tommy Shelby x reader; Y/N has a present for Father’s Day, taking Tommy by surprise, but you’ll be surprised by Charlie’s joke

The way to a man’s heart - Tommy Shelby (dark). Y/N will play a crucial part tearing apart the Shelby family, and this is only the start.

Skyfall- Tommy faces one of the hardest moments of his life when his family goes to prison, but he won’t face it alone.

Hometown Glory - Tommy is forced to go back to his Watery Lane house after Jimmy McCavern planted explosives in his property and takes away something that really matters to the Shelby leader.

The choice - 🎃 Tommy is losing Ruby from consumption, so he rushes to ask for help to a woman he had heard owns some kind of special power. But changing the course of things around has consequences.

The Photoshoot- Peaky Blinders edition

Always with me- Tommy Shelby x reader (+Grandma) 👵🏻🎄 Follow Tommy to plan for a different holiday for his girlfriend who is dealing with a significant loss

Grandma knows best -

Because of you- modern Tommy Shelby

Endless love- Modern Tommy. Y/N is “forced” to leave her husband and baby for the weekend, so join Tommy to sort parenthood by himself for a couple of days. How will he deal with everything? Including a fussy baby.

Toy soldier- Charlie is scared by the noises in his bedroom, so Tommy finds the perfect way to brush his fears away by sharing a story his own mother told him a long time ago.

A night at Delux - Modern Tommy Shelby. Y/N starts working at the best club in town, but an incident with the owner will caught his attention.

Watching over us - Ruby has been having some dreams that make her feel uneasy while Tommy is away. Because how would you feel after dreaming of someone who already passed away but it’s trying to send a message?

Series

All we’d ever need- You are Polly’s goddaughter, met Tommy when you moved in with your godmother. After Grace left, when he was broken, in a shell, moved by the pain… until he started noticing you. Then in a serious relationship some unexpected news will shake their worlds a little.

Every little thing you do- Y/N has been Tommy’s best friend since childhood. She had always been there for him when he needed her the most. Now as the Shelby family are in a better position, Y/N will need Tommy’s support when something she didn’t expect happens.

Brotherhood (coming soon)

Blurbs here

Series

[rainybyday]

I have to say that this is @yukinohananana017 fault for commenting and saying this one line

“He tried his best but it wasn't enough to change anything meaningful, as well as the fact that Fate was locked in and his hands were tied”

your fault, I love you for this and hate your (affectionately) for giving me brain rot

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Going for the Ghost King Danny idea, Danny is the ruler of all things that are both dead and are either born/created in the Infinite Realms from not only his dimension but from every dimension. His is the king of all things dead and the passageways and crossroads of ghost or entities that live in the Realms from crossing other dimension and such. 

Danny is not the person who sees the future of those dying nor does his cause it, he only gains his people once they are truly dead or are an entity that is created/born of from death.

What I’m trying to get at is that he is the living embodiment of Death as he is Death himself, similarly how Clockwork is the embodiment of Time itself. Other entities such as Life, Space, Fate and Universes are that of the same level of power of both beings as they rule or have control of their domain of their names.

For example, people that have power over death, such as necromancy or supernatural people, are a shared custody with both Life and Death (Danny) since they are living beings to willingly choose to use death as their means of power

Custody with people that are revived, those that fully die and go back to living are people that Life and Death (Danny) both fight for as, unlike those that borrow Death’s power, they actively became his subjects/people when they died and then went back to life. Those custody battles are always a struggle (and Life likes to pull the halfa card a lot on Death as its within their rights to order Death to certain terms and conditions (unfortunately this is also a double swords as because Death still is living, Life likes to make it so that Death is spoiled for his last living years before he truly becomes dead (or unless his becomes immortal in his human form but that’s a whole other idea)))

(Arguing for Batfam rights like: “Why can’t I have them???” “Because they aren’t dead!” But they did die, almost all of them died!!!!” “THEY REVIVED!” “THEY DIED MORE THEN A MONTH!!!!” “THAT WAS ONLY TWO OF THEM AND YOU KNOW IT!!!!!”)

Same as with Fate, Death can’t choose his subjects, nor can he tell or influences when someone dies, however, Fate is never set in stone because Time can always change, and bend and Fate can’t do anything against Time if Time chooses to change its course so Fate can’t do anything to Death if he has Time to help prevent some people from dying. Although both work together when it comes to reviving people because its not their time to die yet. 

(Jason, no more need to be said. “Your doing what now?” “A revival.” “And you need me why???” “I can always ask Life-” “Fuck no. I get custody rights.”)

Death and Space also have an easy relationship as Space always shifts the Infinite Realms to fit Death’s people and to travel to other dimensions whenever Death wishes. They are always at peace with one another unless Fate or Time tells Space to not let Death go to certain places at certain times. 

(Summoning circles are Space messing with Death to get pulled form one dimension to another.)

(Lazares pits are cracks in Space that Spaces leaves for Death to use)

Universe on the other hand is more powerful than all other embodiments and doesn’t make contact with those embodiments when they feel like it. The  Universe is more powerful than Time and Fate, shifts Space and goes beyond the rules of Life and Death. They are more powerful than all. 

However, they all live and work in a harmonic system that work so well with one another.

(Or me brain rotting over that one capital letter “F” and running many ideas how Danny is truly Death itself and then Clockwork is added to the mix before Fate is added and my mind is brunning)

[some-kind-of-creature]

My heart, what beautiful additions from both @nerdpoe and @void-of-unparalled-chaos ❤️ Don't mind me, I'm just siting here, crying onto my cat's fur TT-TT

~~~~~~

We now know how things went with Damian and co, but what happens at Danny's end in the meantime? Let's go take a look and find out!!! :D

~~~~~~

Now that his Brother and his family knows that their dead daughter/sister is in actuality their dead son/brother, they can properly mourn him and Danny will stop getting this wrong feeling through his grief bonds.

That would be it. The End!

~~~~~~

That would definitely not be it. Not at all "The End!".

Danny learned this very quickly, in fact, he learned about it the very next day during his biweekly fight with Ember. A fight which gave him a lot less issues than the one last week.

A powerful ectoblast, way too powerful for the amount of strength Danny had put behind it, brought the singer easily down onto the ground and on her back. He flew down to his opponent, hoping he didn't hurt her too much.

"Everything okay down there, Ember?" The concern obvious in Danny's voice, wringing his hands together while floating just above where the other ghost lay. "I really didn't mean to hit you that hard"

Groaning, Ember picked herself up from the ground, making Danny fly away from her just a little bit. Better safe than sorry, he didn't fancy being hit with her guitar, speaking from experience it would hurt like a bit- birch!

"What happened between our fights, dipstick? How did you get even more powerful in such a short time!?" Yeah, Ember was definitely more than annoyed at being beaten this quickly into their fight. Which was understandable.

Danny rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. "I have no idea, man, I haven't really fought anyone since our last fight" Letting his hands fall down to his side and his shoulder slump, he continued, "I was way too occupied with my new grief bounds, having them feeling wrong at first and then having to correct them."

Suddenly Ember was right in front of him, her face coming very close to his, making him lean back, trying to avoid being hit by her. "Woah, not so close Ember, what would Skulker say?"

"You got new grief bonds?" Ignoring his exclamation completely, Ember took his face between her hands and stared him down, as if see could see his new bonds reflected on his face. "No wonder you got stronger!"

Now completely confused, Danny just let Ember squeeze his face. "What does me getting stronger have to do with my new grief bonds?" His question came out a bit muffled due to his cheeks being squished by her, but the singer evidently had no problems understanding him.

"Because they make you stronger, idiot" She rolled her eyes. "Especially if they are grieving the real you! How do you not know this?"

"Hey, no one told me about this! How should I have known!"

Ember lets go of Danny's face and pinches the bridge of her nose, a big sigh leaving her. She gave him a sympathetic smile. "Sometimes I forget that you did not get all the standard ghostly info when you died, I'm sorry, Babypop."

The sincerity in her eyes made Danny squirm a bit, he did not want to make her feel bad about this.

"You don't have to be sorry about this" He pulled his knees up to his torso. "It's not like you had anything to do with that, right" With that thought, he gave her a cheeky grin and stuck his tongue out. "At least, I really hope you had not, or I will write you a strongly worded letter!"

That startled a laugh out of Ember.

"You little brat!"

"A little brat that is now even stronger than you!"

"Oh, you're so on for this, dipstick!"

And with that the two of them got back into their fight, laughing all the while.

It didn't really matter that he got a bit stronger, nine new grief bonds were in the grand scheme of things not that much. Nothing had to change because of that.

Now, this would definitely be The End!

Yeah... definitely...

~~~~~~

Meanwhile, at the Justice League Dark monthly meeting.

"So... did you lot also feel that surge in power over the last few days?"

The answer was a nod and murmur of confirmation from all present JDL members in the room.

"Does anyone know where this power surge came from?"

This time the answer was a collective shake of heads.

"Well, shit..."

It wasn’t supposed to be a secret.

If you died while with the league, you will no longer be acknowledged to have existed, especially if you died during a mission. A disappointment will not be remembered.

The bats and birds don’t like speaking about the people they have lost, so they don’t. If someone ask about the dead, they will tell the person they don’t talk about that.

So how was Damian supposed to know that he should have told his father about his dead brother?

[princessfanonanona]

How to Human

Part 5 of College Shenanigans, read parts 1, 2, 3, and 4

Special shoutout to @strawberrycamel for helping me bust this out of the nether in like 2 hours(??????) and then helping with edits aaaaaa you are wonderful thank you. Also shoutout to @typo-art for you know giving me enough ear worms to fill up an entire page of timeline notes (including the idea for this fic)

Summary: Several members of the Astronomy Club express concerns over Danny's inability to behave as a normal human and sit him down for a discussion. Danny is touched, honestly.

---

“What are you doing? School is over, I’m supposed to be going home,” Danny whines as Miles drags him by the arm through the school building.

“Because we have made the collective agreement that you are failing, and probably forgot, what it means being human and need some reminders,” Miles says, without looking back.

“How can I forget how to human?” Danny asks.

“What's the safest height a human can fall without dying?” Miles asks instead of answering.

“Uhh, 90 feet?” Danny looks unsure.

“Nope,” Miles answers, “Six feet.”

“Oh,” Danny blinks.

“‘Oh’ is right, you need a refresher course.” 

“Can’t we do this later?”

“Nope,” Miles shakes his head, tugging him into the classroom. “We need to start this now so that you don't end up outing yourself by accident.”

“Outing myself how?” Danny frowns at him.

“You’re liminal, right? That's the term?” Jessica asks from a seat in front of Kat.

“Yeah?” Danny agrees.

“Well," Jessica continues, "You can’t go showing off those weird tricks you just naturally do on the reg outside of here or your hometown, 'cause someone is going to start asking questions. And then the wrong sort of people are going to come looking for answers.”

“Okay that's fair.” Danny acquiesces. “So what do I have to do?”

“We were thinking  that we should get a baseline of what you think is normal for people and we can go from there?” Jessica offers.

“That seems smart.” Danny says, taking a seat beside Miles and turning sideways to face the girls.

"Let's also be clear and record this properly," Miles says, heading to the whiteboard and unpopping a marker. He writes, in big letters, ‘What Danny needs to be corrected about’ and ‘What Danny is actually correct about.’

“Well, we know he thinks falling height livability is wrong,” Miles writes down.

“Hey Danny, how high can the average human jump from a dead standstill?” Kat asks.

“Uh...15 feet?”

“Nope,” Miles marks that down. “Next?”

“Wait, am I not going to get an answer?”

“Not yet,” Kat shifts to sit cross legged. “How about how long it takes a sprained ankle to heal?”

“Five,” Danny answers without hesitation. “Where’s Anje? I'm surprised they're not here.”

“They already packed up and headed home two days ago ‘cause their last class was canceled.” Jessica answers. " Five what?”

“Hours,” Danny says as if that was obvious.

“Danny, no,” Kat pales in horror.

“Oh my lord, we have so much to cover don’t we?” Jessica whines.

“What’s the average weight a person can lift?” Miles pulls out his phone.

“200 pounds?” Danny guesses.

“Nope, what's the recommended average hours you need to sleep?” Miles marks that down and scrolls on his phone.

“Four?”

“Nope, how many calories is it recommended you intake a day?” Kat cuts in with her own phone in hand.

“Oh Ancients, I haven't a clue.” Danny shakes his head

“Great, at least you're not off there.” Miles snarks.

“Wow, feeling the love guys.” Danny fights to roll his eyes.

“We’re doing this because we love you.” Jessica says.

“Gee. Thanks.” Danny does eye roll this time.

“Anyways, what's the recommended maximum amount of caffeine you can ingest without going into cardiac arrest?” Kat continues.

“That's a thing?” Danny’s eyebrows furrow.

“Yes, it very much is a thing, what did you think would happen?” Kat looks up from her phone.

“All I ever got was a mild buzz from drinking so much!” Danny throws his hands out, palms up.

“Speaking of, what's the blood alcohol limit before alcohol poisoning?” Miles asks with a frown.

“Oh shit, I don't know. Was never relevant for me," Danny glances over, and winces at the growing list.

“How is that not relevant?” Kat asks, slightly perturbed.

“Higher metabolism, human alcohol doesn't really do much for me.” Danny glances back at the older girl.

“Human alcohol?” Miles half screeches.

“Uh yeah, ghost alcohol is so much more potent and actually affects the ectoplasm in my system, otherwise I'd have to, like, chug a bottle of vodka straight in order to get anywhere near drunk.” Danny says, drumming his fingers on the chair arm. "And even then it just burns through my system."

“That, unfortunately, explains so much,” Jessica comments idly.

“I would like to study you,” Kat leans forward on her desk.

“Please don’t, I have nightmares about my parents doing that already, thanks.” Danny leans back in his chair, hands up. 

The trio blinks.

“Should we be concerned, Danny?” Miles asks, the previous ire gone.

“Oh no, it’s fine, I've been hiding the liminal thing from them for years.” Danny shakes his head in a small no.

“Why? Would they hurt you?” Kat presses, half standing and bracing herself on the tabletop.

“No no, they’ve never hurt me!” Danny shakes his hands and head emphatically. “It's just, I’ve seen what they do to weaker ghosts and I know that in alternate timelines they’d be fine with it.”

“Then why don’t you tell them?” Jessica asks gently.

“It's been almost five years since the accident and I just don't want to admit to lying to them that long?” Danny rubs the back of his neck.

“Danny, you do realize I was joking about studying you, right?” Kat’s voice is soft and her eyes, imploring. Miles, unseen by Danny, makes a note in his phone.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, sorry my joke missed.” Danny looks down at his hands. He doesn't see the look the trio shares over his head. 

“Okay, so moving on,” Miles clears his throat rather pointedly. “What's the...hottest temperature a human can survive?”

“Uh, 140 degrees?” Danny asks.

“Close, but not quite. Coldest temperature?” Miles asks.

“Negative 300,” Danny says without missing a beat.

“Wait wait wait, are you thinking fahrenheit or celsius?” Jessica asks.

“Oh!” Danny looks sideways and up. “I guess 140° fahrenheit? Definitely negative 300° celsius.”

“That's…” Jessica trails off.

“Danny no…” Kat comments.

“Well temperature gauges are definitely going to be looked at!” Miles announces loudly as he makes a note on the white board. “Why did you switch systems though?”

“Cause that was relevant to where I was?” Danny reveals his palms with a face of ‘what do you want from me’.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for the heat... I remember looking at the thermometer last summer on a really hot day. Personally, I felt like I was dying but seeing a lot of other people in Amity being fine.” Danny shrugs. “And the latter was when I was in the Far Frozen and looking at their thermometer and personally being fine in a light sweater, so...”

“Wait, where's the Far Frozen?” Jessica frowns.

“Oh the home of the yetis I took Professor Birchshoo to meet,” Danny says with a smile. “Frostbite and her got on like a house on fire, it was terrifying.”

“Should we be concerned?” Jessica frowns harder.

“Nah, they’re both yelling at me to eat better so if anything you should poke Birschoo if you have questions about ghosts and liminals when I'm not around.”

“We might just do that, yeah,” she agrees easily. Miles makes another note in his phone.

“Great!” Kat slaps the table for emphasis. “Because I have more questions!”

“Shoot,” Danny says, getting comfortable himself, “This is actually kind of fun?”

“How is this fun,” Jessica asks. 

“I’m learning that I'm an idiot but you're not making me feel like an idiot.”

“Danny,” Jessica gets up to sit beside him and places a hand on his arm. “You are probably the second smartest person in the room.

“Second smartest?” Danny frowns at her.

“Miles is probably smarter than you only because of technicality,” Kat shrugs.

“I’m not sure if I should be offended or honored,” Miles frowns at the pair.

“You are both very smart in your respective fields, however, you both can be somewhat dumb.” Jessica gives the boys a teasing, fond smile.

“Yep, I’m offended now,” Miles crosses his arms.

“I am also offended!” Danny huffs.

“What? It’s true,” Kat laughs, “It’s not like you’re an omnipotent god, everyone is smart about their thing and dumb about something unrelated.”

“Yeah, sure, then what are you so smart about?” Miles asks.

“The history of color dyes, textile making, and how certain colors are associated with symbology, history, familial lineage, and religion,” Jessica tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Also the linguistic growth of a language and how it correlates and affects a developing region's culture, history, the sciences, and politics of a nation; and, in turn, how those aspects themselves also change and evolve the language.”

The boys blink at her. Kat sits back to watch her girlfriend with hearts in her eyes.

“Well, okay then,” Danny says looking at Miles. “Did you understand any of that?”

“Maybe half,” Miles shakes his head.

Danny turns back to Jessica, "I know you were speaking English and I know those words on their own, but what."

"It was part of my graduating thesis," Jessica smiles. "Understanding and breaking down the relationship of color on the language of a developing nation and how that relationship reflects, interacts with and grows with the cultural focus of said developing nation.

"Basically how color, the symbolism of it and terminology associated with it, affects a developing nations language and culture and in turn changes and reflects the symbolism and terminology of the color itself."

"That is not something I ever really thought about," Danny admits.

"Exactly," Kat says. "You're both incredibly smart people, just dumb in other topics because those topics are irrelevant for you to know."

Miles shakes his head, “We are way off topic again."

“Point,” Kat says, leaning forward again. “I had questions.”

“Yeah, shoot,” Danny says.

“What do you consider a correctly balanced diet?” Kat continues.

“Uh ectoplasm, carbs, caffeine, starch, protein?” Danny lists. He pauses for a moment and winces slightly, "Not in that order though."

“I'm pretty sure you’ve mentioned you’re not supposed to be eating ectoplasm," Miles frowns.

“Yeah, you can’t cause it’ll really mess you up,” Danny rolls his eyes. “For the ecto-contaminated, we need it to survive after a certain point. Which, y’know, just contaminates us further, but the alternative is dying a very long drawn out death of starvation, so.” He shrugs in a 'what can you do.'

“Well that’s not horrifying or anything.”

“Turns out, a lot of my exhaustion this semester was from not getting enough ectoplasm, who knew?” Danny smiles ruefully.

“You did get that fixed, right?” Jessica asks, worried.

“Oh yeah, of course, that was actually the main reason I had Birchshoo and Frostbite meet, so that Birschoo can stay on top of me better than I was doing.” Danny acknowledges. “I mean she basically strong-armed me into bringing her there.”

“Yeah that’s fair, she’s terrifying.” Kat nods.

“Oh Ancients, when she punched an Observant in the eye, it was by far the best thing I have ever seen,” Danny says excitedly.

“What’s an Observant?” Jessica asks.

“The ghosts that make me do all that ridiculous paperwork,” Danny groans. "They're like the bureaucratic enforcers of the Realms."

“That’s who does that?” Miles frowns.

“Wait, what paperwork?” Jessica asks.

“You know that stack of tinged green paper Danny sometimes came to the club with?” Kat says. “The ones he had that really fancy gel pen he had to use to fill out?”

“Oh, that,” Jessica nods. “Wait, why do you have to fill out ghost paperwork?”

“Because the Observants hate me and want to make my life as complicated as possible.” Danny bemoans, slumping further into his chair.

“Well that sucks,” Kat says.

“What'd you do to piss them off so bad?” Miles asks.

“Apparently an evil, alternate timeline of myself caused the apocalypse and they’re still salty that Clockwork gave me the chance to redeem myself and not go evil,” Danny says miserably.

“Good lord what did you do growing up?” Jessica says.

“Fight and run from ghosts mostly. You had to learn to survive somehow.” Danny answers.

“That doesn't answer anything,” Jessica frowns at him.

“I have more questions.” Kat says, raising a hand halfway.

“Shoot.”

“How fast can a human run?” she asks.

“I dunno,” Danny shrugs, “I only ever measured flight speed.”

“You can fly?!” Miles chokes on air.

“In the Infinite Realms, yeah,” Danny looks over his shoulder at the older boy. “I mean you have to fly to get anywhere over there, it's not like here where there's ground everywhere.”

“How fast can you fly?” Kat asks.

“Uh, last time I measured was a little over a year and a half ago and I think it was 120 miles per hour, if I remember correctly,” Danny looks up and to the right with a frown. “Hold on, I think Tuck still has the stats from the last measurement.” Danny pulls out his phone to shoot off a text.

“That's kind of insane,” Miles whistles, impressed.

Danny’s phone pings, “Nope 210 miles per hour.”

“Holy fuck man,” Miles says.

“That’s insane,” Kat comments.

“Can you take me flying with you next time?” Jessica asks.

“Jessica!?” Kat exclaims.

“What? I’ve always wanted to know how it felt to fly.” Jessica defends.

“Well I certainly can’t, not without serious body armour anyways. Flying through the Real with me would make you like me,” Danny shakes his head.

"Wait, so why was Birchshoo okay?" Miles asks.

"To be completely honest with you?" Danny turns to look at Miles. "She's too old for the ectoplasm to contaminate her."

"Age is relevant to contamination?" Miles blinks.

“If you can't, then can you ask Coffee Ghost to take me flying?” Jessica asks.

“Jessica!” Kat near screeches.

“What? It’s a valid question.” Jessica defends again.

"So you're just gonna ask any guy to carry you in his arms?" Kat frowns.

"Any guy who can fly," Jessica crosses her arms back, "I'd also ask a girl if she could fly too."

Kat face-desks with a groan.

“I cannot believe I am hearing this,” Miles snickers.

“I can’t believe I have to sit and be a part of this,” Danny frowns.

“I have a question,” Miles says, still snickering, “How are ghost babies formed?”

“No,” Danny frowns at the boy.

Miles outright laughs, “Why not?”

“No, no, no,” Danny shakes his head, “An ocean of no with a side of nope sauce, no. I am not getting into that at all.”

“Aww,” Miles pouts at him.

“Okay, but is it really that mucked up?” Jessica asks.

“Very much in the 'wow that is the most horrifying image I have ever seen' and I have seen shit,” Danny shakes his head again.

“Okay new question” Kat starts, “What's the normal human reaction to something gross?”

“Uh, depends on how gross?” Danny cocks his head to the side. “I guess for moderately gross stuff, make fun of it, actually gross stuff, insult it, and supremely gross stuff, just walk away annoyed?”

“No Danny, that's not, no,” Jessica looks moderately affronted.

“Okay but what do you think is moderately gross?” Miles asks with a frown.

“Uhh ectoplasm splatter after a ghost fight? It's basically ghost blood so the green equivalent to, I guess, a Saw movie scene?”

“No Danny, that’s the stuff of horrors and nightmares,” Jessica says.

Danny frowns at her, “A nightmare is something that terrifies you though? And ectoplasm splatter is just gross.”

“What do you consider nightmare fuel then?” Miles asks.

“Watching everyone you love die horrifically and being unable to save them,” Danny says without hesitation.

The trio stare at him for a moment. Danny blinks and ducks his head, pallor paling a drop.

“Is that how that evil you formed?” Jessica prompts gently.

“Yeah,” Danny tugs at the bottom hem of his shirt. “But, I’ve gotten better about it, cause my sister is awesome and likes to play therapist for me.”

“How old is she?” Miles asks, voice quiet.

“Three years older than me, so that's...22 now?” Danny tilts his head. “Yeah, her birthday was last week.”

“And she’s been playing therapist?” Jessica asks.

“Well yeah, cause the two actual therapists I saw tried to eat our misery and gave the entire school depression and made us all suicidal.” Danny shrugs. “It’s fine she’s in school for it and she’s been taking AP courses since like sophomore year of high school so she knows what she's doing.”

“Well if you think she’s been helpful,” Kat frowns at him.

Danny looks up with a weak but genuine smile, "She's honestly the best, I don't know where I would be without her."

“Somehow I feel like the more we ask these questions, the more concerned I am for you,” Jessica says, “This was supposed to be like a fun thing.”

“I think it’s fun!” Danny turns to her. “I mean I don’t really like talking about certain things but you’re right, if i don’t want to end up getting caught by people with questionable intentions I need to know better right?"

The girls exchange a look and turn to Miles who makes a face in return. The trio steel themselves with quiet determination.

“We will make you pass for human if it's the only thing we can do for you as your friend,” Jessica lays a hand on Danny’s arm again. “I mean, we care about you immensely and you deserve happiness and safety. If this helps you, what you share with us, we will take it to our graves. Nothing you say will ever leave this room."

Danny looks around the small group, eyes glistening, “You don’t- that’s- oh Ancients, why?”

“Because we like you?” Kat offers, moving to sit on Danny’s other side on the desk. “Because you're a good person, a bit weird but a good person.”

“And nobody deserves, in any aspect, to live in fear of their own parents, no matter how unfounded,” Miles crosses his arms. “And if it makes your life that much easier, we’ll do it.”

“You guys,” Danny tugs Jessica and Kat into an awkward hug. “You guys are way too nice, who let you be this sweet?”

“Common decency,” Miles huffs, moving closer to ruffle Danny’s hair. “Now before this becomes too much of an emotional mess, shall we continue asking questions?”

“Yeah, go for it,” Danny releases the girls who both give him affectionate hair ruffles.

“Semi serious question” Jessica starts, hand resting in Danny’s hair, “Can I keep playing with your hair?”

“Sure?” Danny glances at her with a shrug.

She lets out a tiny squeal, burying both hands into his locks and starting a very in depth massage.

Danny hums in mild bliss. “Ancients, are you magic?”

“No?” Jessica giggles. “Your hair is just really soft. How is it so soft?”

“Ectoplasm is a wonderful conditioner if you process it right,” Danny hums, eyes drifting closed. “Hey Kat, I’m marrying your girlfriend so I can have epic head massages from now on.”

“Excuse you!” Kat gasps, “That’s my personal head masseuse!”

“I’m free to share,” Jessica giggles again. “More serious question, how often do you think humans need to have personal hygiene habits?”

“Uh? Teeth at least twice a day,” Danny starts and receives noises of approval. “Shower any time you get soaked in ectoplasm?”

“That not, okay yes you should, but if you don’t get soaked in ectoplasm,” Miles rephrases the question.

“I guess like once a week unless you worked out?” Danny offers.

“Okay yep, personal hygiene going on the board.” Miles announces. Danny cracks an eye open to look at him.

“How was that wrong?”

“You should shower like at least every other day,” Kat says. “Body is recommended everyday but your hair can technically go a week without washing, but that's not really recommended.”

“Actually, depending on hair type and bio-oils you naturally produce, typical activity level, amongst several other factors,” Jessica states, hands moving into a strange tugging pattern that was just as relaxing. “You need to wash your hair anywhere between every day to once every week and a half. Danny here, probably could go with a hair wash every day considering how often he deals with ectoplasm but also hair length.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” Danny concedes. “What are you doing to it anyways?”

“I'm braiding it.” Jessica announces.

“You can do that?” Danny asks.

“What, like it's hard?” Jessica huffs.

“But it's not that long?!” Danny opens his eyes to try and look at her.

“Don’t move!” Jessica chides. “And it’s long enough.”

“I have the weirdest friends,” Danny sighs.

“Coming from you, that sounds derogatory,” Kat nudges Danny in the shoulder with her shoe.

“Say’s the girl who put rhinestones on my face,” Danny huffs.

“Okay point, but still, you definitely have us beat on the weirdness level.”

“I mean, alright,” Danny concedes. “Considering the point of this whole group.”

“Exactly, babe, switch with me?” Jessica asks.

“Sure,” Kat shrugs and they switch places so Jessica can braid the other side of Danny’s hair.

“Right, was there anything else on the list?” Miles asks, pulling his phone out again.

“Wait, you had a list?” Danny startles, pulling against the strands that Jessica had in her hands.

“Oh jeez!” Jessica rubs the spot of where she pulled. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“Huh what?” Danny blinks, slightly disoriented. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I just accidentally yanked your hair!” Jessica exclaims.

“Oh, I didn’t feel it,” Danny waves her off to look at Miles, “What do you mean you had a list?”

“Okay in order,” Miles holds up a hand and marks ‘pain tolerance’ on the white board. “We have a list to make sure we covered everything that we thought was relevant. Follow up, what is your pain tolerance like?”

“Uh, what?” Danny blinks at that.

Miles partially rolls his eyes before sighing. “Would you say it’s higher than average, lower than average, and of either, by how much? Honest scale, where do you think you rank compared to the average person?”

“Oh, higher than average, definitely,” Danny answers. “I guess moderately higher? But I’m clearly overestimating normal non-Amity people so probably much higher than average pain tolerance.”

“That’s probably the most correct statement so far,” Miles smiles, marking the other side of the board.

“I feel like there's a but coming,” Danny frowns. Kat snorts so he gives her a light shove on the knee.

“You would be correct,” Miles shakes his head at them. “Mostly that we need to figure out how high your pain tolerance is and then get you to either avoid public injury or react appropriately.”

“I feel like avoiding injury will be easier of the two,” Danny says.

“Usually,” Jessica says as she finishes off the second braid. “Except you have never met a master drama expert.” 

“Who's the drama expert?” Danny asks.

“Me!” Kat raises her hand in a dramatic flourish. “I used to be a child actor so you know I can train you in no time.”

“Wait really?” Danny looks up at where she's sitting on the desk. “That’s awesome! How come you never talked about it before?”

“Wasn’t relevant,” Kat shrugs.

“They were also Canadian movies,” Jessica stage whispers into Danny’s ear.

“Hey!” Kat whines. “That was supposed to be a secret.”

“Ah yes, the horrors of Canadian cinema,” Miles rolls his eyes. “Whatever will we do with this information?”

“I don't know,” Kat whines louder, “Take over the world with the cursed knowledge that my movies carry?”

“Done that,” Danny waves a hand with a scoff. “So not the thing to do, way too much paperwork.”

“When did you take over the world?” Jessica asks.

“Alternate timeline, not a fun one,” Danny answers.

“At this point, I honestly cannot tell if you are bullshitting us or are being dead serious,” Miles frowns.

“Oh I'm always dead serious,” Danny says with a smirk. A green sticky note appears on his forehead, covering half his face.

“Oh my gosh,” Jessica giggles, “What is that?”

Danny pulls it off his face with a frown. He blinks at it, expression clearing. “Oh, speaking of alternate timelines, apparently I’m needed to help with this one.”

“Seriously?” Kat asks, leaning over to look at the post-it. It has a bunch of indecipherable scribbles written on it in glowing blue ink. “That’s not English.”

“Obviously,” Danny rolls his eyes, standing up with a stretch. “Well this was fun but I have to go now. I guess text me for actual lessons?”

“Wait!” Kat lunges forward to grab onto Danny’s arm as he opens a portal in the air in front of himself.

“What?” Danny jerks, turning at the sudden tug on his arm. “What’s wrong?”

“First rule of being human,” Kat glares at him, “No more noping out of conversations with a portal to alternate dimensions.

“This one is technically an alternate timeline so it doesn't count, right?” Danny points to the blue ringed portal.

“No portalling out the room where you can be seen or caught on camera!” Miles rephrases.

“Oh, okay,” Danny nods. “Well, I broke the camera in this room when I first joined the club so that's fine still.”

“Let him go, Kat,” Jessica buries her face in her hands.

Kat mutters under her breath and lets go. Danny salutes the group.

“You guys are awesome and I will make it up to you, promise!” Danny waves one last time before disappearing into the blue and green vortex.

“Why did we do this?” Jessica looks up at the group. “Training him how to act normal is going to be the hardest thing on the planet.”

“We can’t give up now,” Miles shrugs as he takes photos of the whiteboard. “Besides, I’m pretty sure this will eventually pay off in the end.”

Jessica yelps in surprise, falling out of her chair.

There’s a green sticky note on her forehead.

“Clockwork!” Kat shouts at the ceiling, “Don’t give my girlfriend an early death!”

A second sticky note appears on Kat’s forehead.

Miles facepalms, before walking over to the pair. “What do they say?”

“Thank you,” Jessica reads off. “In probably the fanciest handwriting I have ever seen.” She turns the note around to show off the graceful loops and sparkling ink.

“Mine says, ‘Sorry about that,’” Kat reads. “Also in the most bougie handwriting.” She also turns her note around to show off the calligraphy. A second note appears on Kat’s face.

“I can see why Danny likes the guy so much,” Miles tugs the note off his red faced friend. “It just has scribbles on it.”

“Oh, that’s upside down.” Jessica says before turning pink and barking a laugh.

Miles blinks at her before turning the note over. It reads, in the most fanciful, swirly calligraphy in the shiniest, glittering metallic blue, 'Bitch.'